Just Give Me a Reason: A Dramione Fic
by C. N. Bailey
Summary: During a repeat 7th year Draco asks Hermione for forgiveness and the two start a tentative, but secret, friendship. Ten months later Draco panics and leaves Hogwarts, taking all memories of their saucy relationship with him. Draco enters the modeling world and is dismayed when Hermione is hired as a fashion designer. Hermione -and readers- soon find out not all is as it seems!
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Hey all! I finished a full length (three year) writing project a few months back and as that one closed this new fic idea came to me. I don't really have one set ship pairing and love reading a variety. I've read so many pairings and loved so many different pairings that instead of just writing one I want to write them all, or all the ones I've read and enjoyed anyway. So, NextGen Scorpius/Lily fic is done, all 57 chapters (Give it all for You is on my profile) and this will be my next long project. It is slated for 30 chapters and will probably stay about there. Maybe. Hopefully. The last one was supposed to be that long as well and outgrew its cage. Anyway, without further ado: a tumultuous fashion-industry centered fanfiction. Just Give Me a Reason.

Also, I've decided to merge the three mediums -you could call them hobbies or passions as well- that inspire me most during this series. Writing/Harry Potter, Fashion, and Music. (I listen to pretty much anything and everything so you might get some new music from your reading. It's a combined thing this time ) ! So far I've got about 8 genres included and not all are in English, like the second song in this part.) I've got a lot of music. Tons. TONS! I'm trying to use two songs per chapter to kind of put you in the mindset of Draco or Hermione depending who's part the song shows up at. If you read the chapter and think of other songs that go along or remind you of that chapter I'd absolutely love to hear them. Leave me a message or note with thoughts about the chapter and the song title/artist.

(Image rights: Emma in Victoria Beckham rights to photographer and designer. Tom in Calvin Klein rights to photographer and Celtic Connections magazine. "Ryuu" image belongs to Teresa Norris Photography. No copy write infringement intended. No profit was made off this story or its photo manip.)

Draco POV

The Girl Deserves Better (Song: The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice www. youtube watch?v=esK3BUomejQ) (Also in Spotify)

Was it possible to feel this cold in the middle of June? I knew it wasn't cold. Though the skies were clear and the moon was shining as bright as ever on the summer grass, I shivered. Hermione would be here in a few minutes and then I would try, once again, to cut her off. Dinner had finished about thirty minutes ago. I hadn't gone. I couldn't. Just the thought of eating made my stomach heave. No. I had been out on the grounds for the past three hours. This had to be the night. We finished our N.E.W.T.'s two days earlier and had a weekend then five days of review and future planning before boarding the Hogwarts Express for the last time. If things continued any longer I would cave in and drag her down with me. Hermione deserved better. She deserved someone whole, someone with a sunny disposition, someone who was unmarked by past blunders and dead Dark Lords. Any path I took in life would be twice as hard because of my name. Malfoys had fallen from grace and every angle looked more impossible as time went on. Crushing pressure pulled me down to my knees and clouded my vision. She would be cut free tonight or it would get her too. Love wasn't a term often used in my childhood and neither of us had uttered it yet, though we both knew that's where we were headed. In my mind it sounded each moment I was with her. Love. I loved her. That old quote 'if you love her let her go' raced through my mind like a message behind a Muggle airplane. Unlike that phrase, I hoped she didn't come back. She was safer that way. Besides, Hermione had a future, an ambitious one, waiting for her.

After school ended she would start an internship in Italy with the Ministry of Magic. There were things to be studied, papers to be filed, Italian men to meet. Tonight when I fled Hogwarts there would be nothing waiting for me. Nothing except Malfoy Manor and its horrid memories, a broken and half mad father, and a mother who refused to take off her rose-colored outlook on life or her belief that we would rise again. My future was like a red dwarf planet, just waiting to loose momentum and burn out. Listening to all the Slytherins talk recently set my teeth on edge. Those who had been effected by the Dark Lord tended to be quieter about the future (We all knew our reputations were tarnished and offers were few.) while those who had escaped that fate were busily comparing what the next year would hold for them. Blaise Zambini was also going to Italy, though he was going to be rating restaurants and spirits when he wasn't relaxing at his family's villa. Pansy was engaged to a Russian man twice her age who would be picking her up and taking her on a world wide trek before returning to London to wed in the fall. I was going home to sip bourbon, brood as I walked the gardens, and listen to my mother prattle on about fashion, new hair styles, parties, and redecorating.

"Draco, hey! Where are we going tonight?" Hermione had come up behind me and as I turned to face her those eyes grew dark and suspicious. Her ruffled shirt caught the bit of wind, sending goosebumps across her upper chest, and the seemed to fill my mind. How did I start this? Was I being selfish to choose for us both? No. This was for her own good. Being selfless was hard for me but tonight it was necessary. As our eyes met, her brown seeing into my grey, a look of realization formed.

"Why? We've been happy together six months. Nothing's gone wrong, has it?"

"No. I've changed my mind, that's all."

She bit her lip and tugged a bit of hair. Changed my mind. That's the best I could come up with? I could have said we weren't good together, that I wasn't happy enough, that I couldn't lie anymore, that I didn't want to hold her back. Even those lies -and the truth- would have sounded better, friendlier, than 'I changed my mind'. Way to go Draco! Way to go. It had been years since I actually pretended being Pureblood was better than being anything else. Now though, it was the perfect coward's fall back. I changed my mind. Hurt crossed her face and she seemed smaller than she had only moments ago. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on initially and it isn't my intent to hurt you anymore. I'll be honest now; we never would have worked."

"I had just begun to give...love a second glance."

That was the closest she had come to saying those three words. Oh what I would have given to tell her I loved her and that was why I was letting her go! She had potential and charisma and talent and beauty and cleverness. Opportunities were throwing themselves at her and she had only to pick her favorites.

"That sort of rubbish only seems to hurt us in the end."

There. I'd crushed her. We had taken our N.E.W.T's and finished Hogwarts. I had to let her go. Why wasn't she leaving? Run Hermione. Run and curse my name and fall into Potter or Weasley's arms and cry until you feel better. Convince yourself that I was an ass who was just here to waste your time. Tell yourself that you will be better without me. Please just run. Let me keep my pride intact, just this shred. Please. No? Ok. Fine. I summoned my packed bags and broomstick from where I had hidden then near the outside staircase while she stood shaking. As I mounted my Firebolt the soft pressure of her fingers trailed down my spine, lingering on the waistline of my trousers, before curving around my buttocks and falling back to her side. Hermione was too smart to actually believe my words. Her eyes searched mine as she looked for the real reason. She wouldn't find it there. Not at this moment. I occluded and prayed she hadn't decided to learn Legimancy in the past few years.

"Let me go with you. We can go anywhere now. Isn't this what we were talking about last week? It's our turn to do what we want and go where we feel. Draco, I don't know what brought this on but I know you are trying to convince me you mean what you are saying. Why can't we stay together?"

She almost seemed pleading though her strong nature was still present. There was no time to make her see. "Hermione. I changed my mind. I don't want to be in London. I don't want to be with you. There is a whole world of girls and discoveries out there and I plan to take them all. I'm never going to settle down. I don't have time for this. For us."

After a few moments of quiet watching, seeing the determination and knowing she saw right through my lie I drew my wand and pointed it between her eyes. She huffed and tilted her chin up before whispering words carried to me on the wind. "I know you won't hurt me. I know it that same way I know you are lying to me right now." If she was going for the soft and quiet method I would go for honest and bold. "I'd never be able to intentionally harm you after the months we've spent together. I'm trying to stop you from hurting later. I'm trying to convince myself that Obliviating you would help at this point. I don't want you to remember all this and miss me."

"Don't. Please. Don't take away all the good memories. Stay with me. Just stay. You obviously want to."

Despite her plea this had to be done. A temporary but strong targeted memory charm would be perfect. Madame Pomfrey wouldn't want to undo it and risk causing more damage when it was fading on its own. Hermione would remember everything I took over the course of a year as the charm lost strength. By the time she realized I had done this she would loath me. That, and she'd be out of the country.

She stepped forward and clung to my shoulders. With careful, slow movement I pointed my wand to her temple and murmured. That cleared the first civil conversation we'd had on Halloween gently from her mind.

She felt its absence and continued to beg. Stop. But I couldn't. Not now. I extracted our accidental Hogsmeade date as she continued, her eyes now wet.

"I'm so sorry sweetie..."

Our confession session in the empty classroom on the fifth floor faded. She would remember in the order I took things from her, if all went according to plan. It would be frightening to get some information, such as our cozier nights together, before the foundation. I didn't want her thinking she was a one night stand for me. Though, that might have hurt us both less.

"This will all turn out alright..."

The next memory, the one of our first kiss -it happened as we joked about kissing while studying for N.E.W.T.'s in the Head Tower Common room- slipped from her memory. It was followed by the rest of that night, as we had ended up snogging for hours on the couches and in windowsills. I had never been as grateful as I was that night about the two of us becoming Head Boy and Girl. Was putting two teenagers in a tower alone really a good idea, despite both being the top students in the school?

"You are going to go on to do such amazing things. I can't hold you back lovely. I'm selfish, but not when it would hurt you..."

Next in the line up was most of the holiday break. We had both stayed behind to watch over the younger students (Hermione's parents still thought they had no child and lived in Australia. Malfoy Manor would be cold and grim this year. Mother had been taking care of my father with a Healer's assistance for months now and he was slowly recovering. It would be quiet as usual but eerie. Plus, Hermione was here.) We had slept in each other's beds occasionally prior to this point and only now expanded mine and shared it every night. There was no need to be apart when so few people remained to knock on one of our personal doors. After the break we had grown used to the others warmth as we slept and continued to share a bed.

"I'm sorry. So bloody sorry..."

As we came closer to summer more and more memories had to be blurred or taken. Every class after early February was altered because of the enchanted parchment we used to write each other and talk during class. Every break we spent together was taken or altered for some variation in memories. The closer we got to March the more holes started appearing. March was when we first shared our entire selves. There had been plenty of touching and caresses but March 16 we went further. Sex with Hermione was a dream. She seemed to think the same about me.

"I can say this now. Just this once. I love you. Hermione, you could have been my world..."

April was the cruelest month to take from her. We had spent endless nights sitting in the windowsill with our feet draped over the edge, talking about the future. We often shed our clothes the second we got back from dinner and didn't put them back on until getting ready for breakfast the next day. Every minute was full of each other and laughter and...love. Shit. I did love her. Truly. Madly. Deeply. Tonight I was breaking both our hearts.

"I love you. I love you. I love you..."

I murmured those words against her forehead before hugging her, kissing her intensely one last time, mounting my broom, and looking into her hollowed eyes. There were still tears but confusion was almost as evident. One last wave took the entire 24 hours of April 10th with it. We had spent all Saturday "At Hogsmeade" as far as everyone else knew. In actuality we locked ourselves in the tower and spent the day eating desserts, curled up together on the couch, in front of the blazing fire, and exploring each other's bodies whenever the fancy struck. It was the perfect Saturday and I was loathed to take it from her. She had said after a particularly amazing and intimate hour that it was the happiest she had ever been. If I didn't take this memory everything else was a waste. If I did, I was an ass. Better an ass than the alternative. She would be hurt but she would be free.

"I'm sorry love. Forgive me. Eventually. Please. Forgive me..."

She started to pull away as our last memories together vanished into the furthest recesses of her mind. There was no reason (left in her mind) why we would ever embrace. Draco Malfoy was just that boy who had degraded her for years then come clean to finally cut ties with old prejudices and fought for the light. I was forgiven in her mind but not a friend. No, no more than merely a school acquaintance. One last spell planted a memory of me in the Head Tower packing and mentioning leaving that night into her befuddled mind. "See you around, Granger." With a last kiss to her forehead my broom lifted me off and when I opened my eyes again the gates of Hogwarts were passing below me. The wind, or so I told myself, ripped moisture from my eyes as I flew for Wiltshire and the manor it held. Only once both feet were crossing into the grand entry of the Manor did I turn around towards Hogwarts and shut the door to the outside world. This was home and it was where I would hide for the next few weeks to nurse my injured pride and broken heart before making my own way in the world.

That night I sipped brandy and glared into the fire. My mother came in and stood behind me, summoning her words.

"Draco, I thought you would be off exploring the world with that mystery girl you are always swooning over."

"We broke up. I called it off before everything could fall apart."

It was quiet for a few moments before she spoke and loudly closed the study's door behind her. She sat next to me and poured a larger-than-proper glass of wine.

"Pity. I had hoped to be a grandmother in the near future."

It was her way of cracking a joke. Late into the night she held my limp hand as I ranted, raged, and sobbed. Only she had seen me like this. Only she would.

Hermione POV

Be Strong and Move On. Song: Ne Me Quitte Pas by Nina Simone www. youtube watch?v=a5FjvWWsH-c (This video has lyrics in English going across the video, though just listening to the tune in French gets across the emotions of the chapter perfectly.) (Also in Spotify)

Ginny sat behind me braiding my hair while Harry and Ron sat staring at the carpet in front of the fireplace. The clock continued to click by. Both of them had convinced me to visit Madame Pomfrey this morning after my third consecutive day of hardly eating breakfast, then quickly rushing to the bathroom to vomit. When Harry and Ginny found me weeping on the grand staircase last Friday they rushed me to Madame Pomfrey and stayed the night with me. I had been subject to a strong, but slowly fading memory charm. It couldn't safely be removed by Poppy due to the chunks missing. If there had been a clear start and end of the memory it would have been simple. As it was I was told to pay attention to everything unexplainable that caught my attention. If I focused on the lost parts or found a common theme my mind would fill in blanks. When I left the next morning breakfast was already half way through. Luckily, I had eaten alone in the hospital (though eating made my stomach clench and twist Poppy wouldn't hear excuses). I doubted Harry and Ginny would spread my misfortune but we may have passed people on our way to Pomfrey. I knew we had because all that day people had stared and whispered. Now, three days later, it was expected and I had begun to tune it out. Harry, Ron, and Ginny deserved the truth.

It was all nerves and a misplaced feeling of heartache, but then I'd have to admit that I didn't hate whoever caused this in the first place. That conversation would be painful to endure and the past few days had been rough enough. Harry looked at Ginny, who was the first I had told and the one who encouraged me to confide in the boys, and seemed to understand that this wasn't news to her. As I knew it would be, Ron spoke first.

"So one more time; you're saying you're pregnant and we don't know who the father is? We didn't know you were involved with anyone. You said last term at the welcoming feast that you weren't ready to be in a serious relationship and now you're pregnant! Do you even know who the father is?" Taking my only chance, while Ron was inhaling and preparing for another rant, I spoke quickly. "I don't have to report to you, Ronald. I must have wanted something that was my own. Something special and secret and lovely. I knew the father obviously. My memories are tampered with as early as October. We obviously knew each other. He wasn't a one time thing. Judging by how much is missing after December we were quite close. He must have done this for a reason, though he didn't know about our baby."

"Blimey Hermione! How many other blokes did you sleep with since telling me off? Were you ever interested in what I had to offer?"

I was about to tell him I had briefly wanted to date him but Harry came to my rescue after Ron's low blow with stern words and a reminder of his own twisting loyalties. (From Lavender Brown to leaving us in the forest.) Once his words were out and Ron stood, mouth ajar, Harry wrapped his arms around my shoulders and asked what I wanted to do. Since the final battle he had grown up and become the voice of reason for me. Once again Ron had to ruin the moment. "You should give it up for adoption. If the guy didn't want you he obviously doesn't want the kid either. He won't help and you aren't old enough to take care of the thing."

"What Hermione does or doesn't do isn't up to either of us. It's up to her. If I was in your position I wouldn't be able to give up my baby. After being raised by the Dursley's I know what it's like to be unwanted and given up on. Adoptions, with adoption agencies and professionals, are much safer than being tossed to your Aunt but even so. I'll be here no matter what. If you decided to raise the baby I'd help babysit and take shifts at night so you could rest or if you placed them up for adoption I would help find a good magical agency and go with you to meet the perspective parents."

There. The worst part was over. From here I had to notify my recently memory-repaired parents, the new head of house, and felt obligated to inform McGonagall. Ron had been my biggest worry besides my parents and he was the only one I feared rejection from. If Harry hadn't defended me it would have been a lot worse. (Surprisingly my parents took the news a lot better than I expected. They started coddling and comforting me right away and made promises similar to Harry's.) Oddly, it was the next day in McGonagall's office that took the most courage.

"Miss Granger, if it was any earlier in the year this would have had some serious consequences. Do you understand what this almost cost you? Your grades, your NEWTS, your Head girl status, the honor of the school! If the press gets a hold of this things will go very poorly for you. Before I would have said you would never get caught in a situation like this; now I am offering you my assistance and protection. I'm assuming you know who the father is and I suggest you inform him of this life event immediately. Things will be easier if you do. If you want to give the child up for adoption I can give you a list of good families who are looking. When the time comes to decide you will have support from family and friends but this road is going to be harder than any others you've walked, Miss Granger. I hope you understand the severity of your actions. You do know who the father is? Has he been informed?"

At my blank look out the window she exclaimed, "Goodness child!" and refilled my teacup with the prenatal/anti-nausea blend I had been given. Had my cheeks ever been more flushed?

Madame Pomfrey found me in one of the hallways and took me back to the infirmary for a calming draft, anti-nausea, and prenatal spells. It was there I spent the evening. Harry came in around eight and sat in the windowsill with me. "Hermione, do you think he would come back if he knew?" This was it. Either I lied to Harry or risk the chance of him thinking Ron was right, that I had been sleeping around. Gryffindor bravery, don't fail me now.

"Actually Harry, I don't know how to properly say this but, umm, I'm not actually sure if he would come back or if I know who he was. Everything from the past few month is a bit off and I think this will make more sense once my mind connects the pieces again. I can remember all the facts from school and what I was doing at times and some of the newer friendships I made but the closer I get to March the less I clear it becomes. I don't know Harry. If he left me there was obviously a reason. He may come back out of pity but I doubt anyone our age actually wants a baby. Maybe Lavender would have but... (I still couldn't think about those who died in the Final Battle without stumbling over my words.) This baby would be a mistake in his mind. He may come back just because it's an heir, his child, but I wouldn't want him around if that was the case. I don't know Harry. I'm a bit lost at the moment."

Harry held me as I cried and told me it would be okay. He sounded so certain about it. More so than I could be at the moment. How was I supposed to provide for two fresh out of school? I knew being the smartest witch in my year had benefits. My internship wasn't going to happen now. Perhaps I could still move to a new country and start over there. Everything was a possibility now that Hogwarts was over. That might be exactly what I needed. A fresh start.

After tomorrow we would be leaving Hogwarts and not returning come fall. Harry and Ginny had been pulled into a Quidditch match by Ron and a few others who were looking for a last fight or two on an actual pitch. My morning had consisted of a final check up from Poppy, who I'd asked to be my primary Healer and Midwife. (This couldn't get out and Poppy had been my only Mediwitch. Hogwarts would be the most comfortable place for me to visit and deliver my baby.) As we finished up I moved to the window and watched the players on broomsticks fly below. Something looked off. Perhaps it was the colors or maybe the absence of. This scene looked familiar, comforting, but changed. Any other time it would have seemed abnormal but recently most of the color seemed drained from my world.

"Deary, perhaps you should go down and watch. I've never seen you interested in Quidditch before and this may help you fill in blank spaces." I didn't turn around but shrugged and mentioned that the colors were wrong. Poppy looked out with me and grunted when something hit her. She asked me to describe the colors to her and try to explain. Obviously there was a reason only one of us could see. Ron and Ginny were easily spotted with their red hair. Harry was playing Seeker. There were a few people from the Ravenclaw team playing with them, judging by the team robes they wore, and one of the Chasers wore a black and yellow uniform. Hufflepuff. The sky was as blue as ever and the grass looked greener than before. "Perhaps I will go down and watch the match. Fresh air could be helpful right now."

As I left Madame Pomfrey muttered something about "maiming his pointy little face" while she bustled around preparing the wing for summer break. That term had been used before around me but at the moment I couldn't place it. Walking to the pitch was perfect on my frayed nerves and queasy stomach but the game had ended by the time I reached the others. Talking and laughing with Ginny on the way back to the castle was just as therapeutic. Ron had been a git since finding out about the bundle of cells I now carried inside me. (Ginny had joked that is was just because he wanted to spawn his own Weasley army and was jealous that I'd have a head start. It made me smile but I doubted that was the reason. Ron hadn't ever stopped trying to change my mind about dating him.) Monday was the start of a new life. Who knew what I'd being doing in a month? I could be in London by myself. I could be in Italy trying to do that internship despite recent discoveries. Maybe I would leave for America and work at a coffee shop until a high paying position opened in their Ministry of Magic. Most likely I would buy a small flat in London and spend my time at a local cafe reading, sipping, and following whatever muse struck me that morning. I would be close to Poppy, close to Harry and Ginny, and safely wrapped in London's arms. After this past term I could use some relaxation to rest my racing mind. Besides, if I went abroad I may never fill my memories again.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note:

Hey guys, sorry about the delay. I went looking through all my chapters (I've got half written already and the others well planned) and realized Chapter 3 had gone missing. I couldn't find it anywhere and was devastated! It's just gone! I hate rewriting and have been putting off posting because I've been trying to get the next chapters as perfect as it was when I wrote it months ago. Alas, it is not to be. I'm still trying to get it to come out of my brain correctly but it's kicking and screaming and holding its ground. No worries, I'll fight it out with an ax this week. Plus, it felt mean to withhold chapter two much longer. Anyway, enough rants. Enjoy!

Draco POV

A New Found Passion (Song: Dirty Little Secret by All-American Rejects www. youtube. watch?v=gPDcwjJ8pLg) (Also in Spotify)

I stood in the studio sipping a fat free latte and glared out the window of the high rise onto the city below. This shoot marked my 20th professional sitting in the modeling world. Apparently there were those who easily slipped into this market and those who tried for years and still did not. In this case the former applied to my rise to fame. Posing and making elegant faces came naturally and why shouldn't it? Malfoy's were known for poise and looking superior. So far the majority of my looks could be described in a few words: dark, defiant, and powerful. The lighting was always dramatic and there was no such thing as too much black eyeliner. I went through a disgusting amount of make up. More often than not I was shirtless and my pants were tighter then was necessary. ( A few pairs of them must have been magically enhanced to form a skin tight layer once the model was squeezed in.

"Draco, we need to keep shooting. Hand your coffee and robe to the assistant just outside the room on your way in. All the light reflecting off the neighboring buildings is past and we have minutes before it's too dark." Another half finished latte, wasted! It wasn't like I had paid for it but was the principle of the matter. Once again I took up position on the couch, lounged in nothing but tight designer underpants and a sultry look, and waited for the make up artists to touch up. A woman with legs reaching the moon leaned on a velvet stool set up in front of my bare feet and stretched until her stilettos hit the X on the floor below my head. Once the touch ups finished, the cameras readjusted and body parts aligned the set became live. For the next five minutes there were flashes and demands. My life often needed this sort of decisive yelling. "Draco, I need more smolder. More. Turn your head a bit to the left. Bit more. Perfect! Look mildly bored and drop your chin a bit lower. Veronica, stretch a bit further for me. There you go. Look entranced. Give Draco sexy eyes, as if you're trying to make eye contact, but do it coyly. Perfect! You're always perfect!"

Once the shoot was over and we were free to change I rushed, going for more of a messy bad boy look than my normal classy facade, and went to the dressing room just a door down. It was here that I made plans for my evening. If things went as they usually did the normal routine would do. But if tonight wasn't a repeat of my other shoots something adventurous would work just as well.

"Ah, Veronica, I was hoping to find you here. Would you like to catch a cappuccino together? I know a great spot nearby and I have been raised knowing how to spoil a girl!" She was all smiles and bashfulness. Tonight would run according to plan after all. One day I would get sick of all this; pretending to be interested, treating another beautiful face to anything they mention, spending an amazing night at my penthouse or their apartment, waking up in bliss, promising to call, then moving on to the next lovely thing to walk by. Today would not be that day! Veronica looked just as good in her little black dress as she did in the lingerie she wore for the shoot. Lying was a practiced trait but it was easier if the person hearing it already knew they were hot. After complimenting her outfit and hair I offered my arm to escort her into my Mercedes-Benz SLR Sterling Moss. If I hadn't impressed girls by this point my car certainly did the trick. It was a Muggle racecar and was extremely rare. My modeling company had given me a loan to get a really nice car and with the help of the Malfoy fortune, more than half of the money for the car came from my vaults, I put out 99304 Galleons (about a million British pounds). It was worth it for the bragging rights and the speed it offered.

With Veronica on my arm we paraded into the small but chic coffee shop and made a fuss of ordering. "What would you like, my dear, anything you get is on me." She giggled before answering, "Oh nothing too fattening I've got another shoot tomorrow!" To score some points I answered with a casual and often used phrase. "You're absolutely ravishing and one high-fat drink couldn't change that." At which point I placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. Woman loved a guy who could effortlessly compliment them. Most didn't catch on that the compliments were solely for the game. Once they were buttered up I'd offer them a night to remember and we rarely parted until morning. At our little table for two she let me in on her little secret. Two could tango. She was seducing me as much as I was her. Though she claimed not to take most home with her, I'd be the exception. Behind us their was a soft scoffing noise and immediately we turned to see who would dare eavesdrop then be caught in the act so obviously.

My biggest fears were realized. I knew it was inevitable but I hoped for more time. Hermione sat two tables down under the lace shadows of an umbrella with a pad of paper and a shading pencil set. Things began to happen too rapidly.

I was back under the shady tree by the lake as that bushy haired girl sketched a starry-eyed couple under the next tree. Her hand hovered just above the paper so as to avoid smearing. After a quick compliment from me she scoffed, like she had moments ago, shoved me, and tilted her head up for a soft kiss.

Moonlight streamed through the open window and the April air bit at our bare skin. This was just one of many romantic rendezvous we'd snuck off to have throughout the past five months of our relationship. Hermione was pressed with her back against the wall and fingers wrapped in my hair. We whispered sweet nothings to each other as our pleasure increased.

We sat on the rug in front of our fireplace. Being Head girl and boy had it's perks, mainly the private tower with personal rooms and a kitchen for just the two of us. During the week she made us tea while I made eggs in a basket and we sat at the dining table together. On weekends she made Yorkshire pudding while I made a meaty sauce to cover it and we drank coffee by the fireplace or on the windowsill.

She lay on my chest with the blankets around her bare waist and traced one of my many scars. We spoke in soft words back and forth about the future and where we hoped to go after graduating. I wanted a job that didn't require schooling. Something that I could enjoy and travel while doing. She wanted to create something for herself. She wanted to come up with something new, something functional, something of her own. Both our goals could be accomplished while we lived together and we planned together. It was mid-April and after four and a half months of dating we had decided to make it work for as long as possible.

It was the third week of May and we sat in our open windowsill. Hermione had felt sick for the past few days and today was one of the first she'd felt better. I had spent as much time as possible with her while she was under the weather and covered as many of her Head duties as she would allow. She transfigured some old parchment into hundreds of little flower petals in purple and white and tossed a few out at a time to float on the wind. It was oddly comforting to do something so mundane.

She stood with a blank expression and watery eyes as the June breeze tossed her hair around her face. Her memories were a jumbled mess and thinking physically hurt, like trying to focus on a book when fighting a migraine. I could see the holes and gaps I had just created as I kissed her forehead and flew to Malfoy Manor. I never should have done it. Italy and the internship there had obviously fallen through since she was still in London. Had she figured out how to reverse my memory charm yet or was she still wondering where the last six months had gone?

Veronica tapped my hand and asked if I was alright. My face had grown distant during the flashbacks. With a quick kiss to her cheek we stood to leave. With any luck our evening together would wipe the hurt look on Hermione's face from my mind. Just as we got to my Benz our photographer and my agent, Eddy Brokes, stepped out of the coffee shop and sat at the table we'd just left. Before we got stuck talking Veronica and I sped off towards her flat. Hermione looked at my face one more time before returning to her drawing pad with a furious scribble.

Inside was just as nice as nice as the outside had looked. Veronica made good money modeling and her flat showed it. Everything was done in marble or hardwood and gleamed under polish. After a quick snog in the kitchen we made our way to the balcony, drank vodka and ate cucumber sandwiches, snogged some more, then skinny dipped in her hot tub, located in it's own side room. It wasn't until she started making moves towards something more that I froze up. This had never happened before. I was already known for promiscuity. For following through. For being a Malfoy dream boy in bed. Not once had I thought of Hermione while with another girl. Then again, something about her was different today. She had a healthy and happy glow present that hadn't been before.

"Something wrong Draco?"

She had moved and crawled into my lap. There was something wrong: it was odd for me to regret anything. Sure, I doubted my choices every now and then but it hadn't hurt before this evening. It was unlikely our paths would cross again in the near future and I'd just have to put her out of mind.

Sadly, it was four hours later when I walked out of a very angry models home. To say I had performed poorly was an understatement. I'd hardly performed at all. Every time I'd start to get into the intoxicating smell of Veronica something would take my mind back to those last six months at Hogwarts. There was a window seat in this flat and it's pillows were the same shade that had been in the Head Tower. At one point hair was splayed across my face and it felt wrong, too sleek, too well managed. I missed that mane of hair. But no. It was better this way. I had let Hermione go. She had no place in my world. No place in the modeling world. She was beautiful and had the looks of a model but couldn't complete with the ferocity these mares had. At home I curled up in my bed alone and remembered how different my plans had been tonight. Hermione had been messing up my plans since I was eleven.

Hermione POV

Stalking and Hidden Talents (Song: Over You by Ingrid Michaelson ft A Great Big World www. youtube watch?v=UdVH8FnG2sQ) (Also in Spotify)

It was crazy to think about how much changed in three months. As soon as I noticed Draco I sunk lower in my chair. The last thing I needed was for him to see my now rounding stomach and make some hateful joke. If we had run into each other a month, no, two weeks ago I would have stood and left the moment we made eye contact. At this point it was getting obvious that I was pregnant, which I was both pleased with and terrified of. Draco was quickly becoming an icon and if the tabloids were even slightly accurate he had a new girl every few weeks with flings in between. Knowing him it was probably true. The last thing I needed was the media realizing we shot each other glances and had last been in the same place around the time my baby was conceived.

This past summer had been the hardest time of my life. School was officially over, Ron had ranted and raved for weeks once I told them I was pregnant. We had fought. Harry defended me and tried to make him see reason but he also wondered what I was hiding. (I wasn't sure where they thought I was when I wasn't around them. I wasn't with them often our last year.) Ron was worse than ever as far as his moods went. He'd be fine until I mentioned the baby or the end of school and heaven forbid I shop for "the thing" while he was around. According to him they -meaning Ron- still wanted me to get rid of it, to give it up for adoption, and I refused.

As I thought of all the secrets going around lately and the struggles of being friends with the "Man-who-lived" and "The Weasley King" my left hand rubbed my stomach and my right shaded the gala gown I sketched. Recently I had become more interested in the fashion world. It had something to do with the fact that I now followed Draco (stalked was too strong of a word for my curiosity) and something inside me knew I could design clothing better than most of the things I saw in the magazines and on runways. Trying to gouge out all thoughts of that blonde man was difficult but manageable. Designing kept him on the edge of my mind while still being a driving force. With only the sound of my pencils and the soft jazz of the cafe in mind I continued. A strand of lights soon came on to make up for the smoggy sunset and a shadow snuck across my page.

"Wow, that's amazing work! Truly! I've been in the design and modeling industry for years and have never seen something as chic and emotional as that. Eddy, come take a look at this!" At the other table, where Draco had sat, a man with a cane and perfect hair stood and leaned over my work. His eyes followed the lines and details on the collar then moved with the angles and flowing fabric down to the train lingering behind the dress. A few quiet moments later he asked if he could look through the rest of the images. With a nod I passed it to him and waited. More and more of my hard work flipped through his fingers and once he reached the end he started over, this time asking questions about types of fabric I imagined using and different embellishments on the outfits. After the book was back in my hands he asked if I was under contract with a company and, if I wasn't, if I was interested in having an agent with the goal of producing my own clothing line. Eddy Brokes, the head agent for three up and coming models and leader of his own design company wanted me to design for him. To create my own line. To shine. I was hesitant.

It was a week later that I found myself, dressed in a hound's-tooth peplum maxi dress, belly hidden under a glamour, walking up the stairs to Brokes and Co to meet my new coworkers and set up my office. Once inside my jaw dropped. Their top models had posters just inside the glass atrium. In the center was their flawless prize. Standing thirty feet tall with ice blue eyes, platinum hair falling like daggers over those blue orbs, and full lips glared Draco Malfoy. His name, written in his hand, spread the bottom of the image. Next to him a girl with cherry red hair that was full enough to rival my school days leaned on a pearly column. Her eyes were green and her skin tan. She was stunning. To the other side of the 'ice king' was a girl with chocolate brown hair and almond eyes. Her teeth were perfect and her features were extremely angled. It was obvious that Draco was their crowning jewel, as his poster was at least ten feet longer than theirs, and I could only hope we didn't have to interact. I wasn't sure I could after the way he'd been snaking through my thoughts and raising my anxiety.

"I see you've been acquainted with the shining stars of our industry. You may get the chance to work with them if all goes well." At my polite nod his eyes angled and he joked about my expression. I had been looking at Draco and trying to find all the changes in the past four months. Seeing as he wasn't wearing a shirt and the pale skin contrasted with the tight leather pants he wore it wasn't hard. There was around thirty feet of a more toned and harder looking man before me. His face, that had looked so peaceful and serene after the war and trials finished, looked strong and harsh now. Modeling had become his mask. It made me even more certain he had something to do with this mess I was in. He had vanished along with most of the memories. We'd always interacted at school. Good or bad.. Now when I thought about projects or rounds of the castle we'd done during our final year there was nothing. This new life was working well for him but I knew he tasted regret that day in the cafe. I thought Malfoy's were good at masking their feelings but he was terrible at hiding his emotions, then again, perhaps I was trying to see through his attempts. That piece of candy on his arm at the cafe seemed to believe he had just been lost in thought.

"Draco Malfoy and I have not been on good terms for a long time. We went to Hogwarts together and got off on the wrong foot. Our relationship never improved. I'd actually prefer not to work with Draco. Not ever if I can help it." Once more I traced the hard angle of his jaw before being asked if we should get business started. My office was on the third floor and opposite the banners. Eddy and I spoke briefly before he left me to set up. There was a design conference in an hour next to the atrium and I was expected to be there.

"Well dear Hermione, I hope that what ever Mr. Malfoy said to you is something that you can get over and come to terms with. He often wanders these halls and is making the company an important name in the industry. If everything continues at this pace he will be Britain's top model this time next year."

That got me thinking. What was the last thing Draco had said to me? I couldn't possibly hate him over one thing. Then again, I couldn't remember anything from May 26th on. (Other days had big gaps but that one day was gone completely as were most of the days after.) That was the day I had talked over with Harry and Ron so many times: It was a Wednesday, nothing exciting had happened at Hogwarts, Manchester United had made history for England by winning the treble; taking home the Premiership, FA, and the European cup, Draco and I...That was the issue. I remembered seeing Draco in the head tower that day and feeling content. It was a half memory though, like part of it was masked. Something important had happened between Draco and I but it was so fuzzy in my thoughts. Whatever had happened in my mind had been taken for a reason. Suddenly it hit me. Draco. He had been the one to use the memory charm. He had left snippets of himself in to throw me off his trail. I had pieces of memories with glimpses of him, proving he was there. Most of them were like that one in the tower though. For months I had been trying to find a common factor so that everything else would slide into place.

After calling Madame Pomfrey through the Floo and making an immediate appointment my office was locked and left empty for a while longer. If this was a quick session I would still have time to set up a few things before the conference. As it turned out, it was a quick visit. Quick but painful.

"Hermione I need you to lay back and take a few deep breaths. I usually refuse to attempt removing scattered memory charms when they are fading on their own. Once removed memories should come back into focus and hit you all at once. It's not wise to induce stress in a pregnant woman but I know you will only stress more not knowing so we are making an exception. I'm going to turn down the lights, charm a pleasant scent then once you are relaxed undo this charm."

It took ten more minutes before my mind was able to quit thinking about what I'd forgotten. After a few minutes of mentally designing a new dress there was a whisper and sudden I squinted from the pressure invading my mind. At the forefront was a teary Draco Malfoy.

"I'd never be able to intentionally harm you after the months we've spent together. I'm trying to stop you from hurting later. I'm trying to convince myself that Obliviating you would help at this point. I don't want you to remember all this and miss me."

He couldn't hold in the moisture anymore and a few lone tears made it over those sharp cheekbones and off his chin to the summer grass below. I had only seen him this desperate in one of Harry's pensive memories, right before he disarmed Dumbledore. It was raw and emotional and blunt. Pain was clearly on top of his feelings right now. Remorse was mixed in there somewhere. My own voice shocked me as well. How could I have forgotten this? It was the most desperate I had ever remembered being.

"Don't. Please. Don't take away all the good memories I have of you. Stay with me. Just stay. You obviously want to."

"I'm so sorry sweetie...This will all turn out alright...You are going to go on to do such amazing things. I can't hold you back lovely. I'm selfish, but not when it would hurt you...I'm sorry. So sorry...I can say this now. Just this once. I love you. Hermione, you could have been my world...I love you. I love you. I love you...I'm sorry love. Forgive me. Eventually. Please. Forgive me.." Draco had whispered the charm and looked away as his lips trembled. I don't think he realized he had said it but I remembered a soft, "I can't hold you back anymore. It's not fair to you and I have a habit of breaking everything I touch, remember?"

Another memory hit before that one faded. Draco had been kissing my outer thigh as he ran his fingers through my hair and murmured against my skin. "Hermione, what do you think about moving in together after we graduate? After spending all this time in the Head Tower I can't imagine coming home to an empty flat somewhere in London, knowing you are doing the same, or worse, living with someone else. Pardon me for being possessive but this is the first time I've felt like this before. I don't want to share you with anyone else, ever. I want to wake up next to you, leave to work after kissing you goodbye, and get home to see you reading in the sitting room. I don't think I can do without, honestly."

"Draco Malfoy, are you proclaiming your love?"

"I guess I am. You would be the first to ever do this to me."

"Stop being so mushy you're concerning me. Are you sick? Do you need a healer?"

The clock chimed and Draco crawled up to meet my lips in a kiss. On the clock face the date changed to May 27th. (That was around the time our baby -and yes I was convinced it could only be Draco's at this point- would have been conceived.)

From there my memories went to all the late nights we had spent on the couch, our clothes in a pile below us, all the snacks and meals we had made together, the times he had taken me flying at night, quiet sighs and whispers on the window seat, impromptu living room dances, our first deep conversation, my first feelings of curiosity about him, everything did hit in a rush and now I realized I should have waited on this visit. I would be in the same room with Draco in less than an hour. I couldn't hide this, though obviously he expected me to figure it out. Knowing him like I did now, like I knew him as I had before this little stunt, it was a guarantee.

Back inside Brokes and Co. I better examined my office. One side was composed of a huge window in different colors of glass and over looked the magical street below. It's counterpart was magicked so I could see out, though others couldn't see in. It also gave me a perfect view of the center image from hip hugging jeans up. Would I ever forget him now and move on? Soon my office looked like a place of my own. All the images on the wall were to my liking as was the now edgy but glass desk I sat behind. It was backlit by the multicolored wall and faced the door and that damned picture. Without waiting my sketch books were out and the completed pieces were hung in front of my back wall. With charcoal in hand and a big concept for my first professional designs I set my eyes to the page. Originally these ideas were meant for females but I thought the sharp edges would work better for males in the end. (It would help get a certain one off my mind at the moment.) It was day one. Time to start fresh and experience life as an artist. These days, things came one step at a time for me. This job would be not different. Step one: Set up office. Step two: Avoid Draco. Step three: Get sketching. Step four: Avoid Draco. Step five: Attend meeting. Step six: Bring Eddy to office to see designs. Step seven: Avoid Draco

Up to step four everything went well. As Eddie chatted about future arrangements we passed the atrium and a crowd caught my attention. Draco stood on the stairs in front of his poster and answered questions for a rabid crowd. We made eye contact. He read my silent weariness correctly and looked away first. He knew I had figured him out. Brokes took the hint and led me to the office with a hand on my back and kind words. "There is always tension between the models and the artists. You both fulfill different roles and often work opposite each other in public. You made the clothes look good. They make themselves look good in the clothes. Technically one needs the other but we all seem to forget that from time to time. Draco looks intimidating, especially with those eyeliner-defined orbs, but he can actually be quite charming. I'm sure he'll be begging to wear your line once your potential is realized. Have you thought of names yet? You might want to start! I'm throwing a Winter Wonderland Fashion Show and, though I rarely, as in have never, let artists show off this soon, I want to see your first creations there in the amateur section near the end. There hasn't been such natural design talent here since I first started showing my creations many, many years ago. Listen to me ramble and toot my own horn! I'm sure you'll be fine. Sketch and decide what your signature look will be. We will talk in a week and you can show me your new pieces. One more thing..."

I silently wondered if Eddy ever stopped talking. I wondered the same thing many hours later when my day was over and I was leaving the office. Eddy had talked for hours about my work and taken copies of all of them to show 'a few people'. He knew about all sorts of things I wouldn't have thought applied to drawing but did, and he could explain how as well. And all of this he could do in one breath!

On my way out of the office I had the misfortune of turning a corner to find myself pressed against Draco's chest thus finally screwing up step seven. He backed up, looked at the ground, and excused himself. I was afraid he would realize my stomach felt different, bulbous, and see past the glamour I had in place. Once he was gone I whispered to the baby.

"Hey little man, did you feel that? Did you see that tall, thin shadow pass us? That was your father. He doesn't know about you and won't for years and years and years if I can help it. I know he'd love you if he knew. I'm just not strong enough to tell him. Not yet. Hopefully he gets all the crazy out of his system and calms down. One day I will tell you all about him. One day you might even grow to like him. He's a bit rough around the edges and likes to appear tough. We'll both know differently though. We'll be one of the few who actually know him. Promise me you will be strong until the time is right? I will do my best to do the same. This will all work out."

After escaping Draco and using the Floo home I put tea on and drew a bath. It had been a whirlwind of a week. Seven days ago I was sitting in a cafe when both Draco and Eddy found me. Life took such crazy turns and, as it had been all through my school career, I didn't want an adventure. I wanted a hot bath, tea, and some chocolate, or maybe broccoli, or both. Together. Pregnancy cravings did weird things to a lady. Tomorrow was a visit with Poppy I would officially find out if I carried a little man or a tiny girl. I had begun talking to 'baby' long before those little ears were developed and was pleased I had. Now every conversation was heard and for the first time in months I didn't feel alone. "Hey little one, tomorrow we will know your name. I hope you are excited as I am. It's so nice to have each other, isn't it? You are my dragon, my strength, my fire. I know the situation is not optimal for either of us but, oddly, I feel like this might be exactly what I needed. Something forcing me to grow up. You. Hopefully I am what you need as well." I sat in the bath with my tea and book to one side and fresh broccoli tossed in melted dark chocolate on the other. In my mind I already knew who it was I carried. (I was fairly sure from my own research and testing that I was having a boy) My little gent seemed to grow calm in the warm water. He was in my dreams, my mind, and all my random little thoughts. Already my pride and joy and he couldn't even live on his own yet.

After my bath Harry and Ron came over. I had just started speaking to Ron again yesterday and he was still upset I hadn't wanted to date him or give up the baby. Today they asked me what gender it was and if I had any names. Due to my Hogwarts visit today, knowing Draco's secret, and the time I spent researching names after the meeting -between visits from Eddie- I did have some names! As my baby grew I had became more and more sure I wanted to figure out who the father was. I wanted to tell my baby stories about us. Surely they would want to know about their missing parent. I would have! Because of that I hadn't thought of choosing a name until near the due date or until I remembered everything. Names were important and I wanted to tie our (my) baby's name in with their dad's.

"Ryuu Granger for a boy and Kaida Granger for a girl."

It was Harry who shook his head side to side before responding. "Don't you think you should find out who the dad is? They might want to know one day and for medical reasons you really should. I know the guy must not be the best role model but it might be nice to fit his name in somehow. Knowing I was named after my dad made me feel better growing up even though he wasn't there. Any connection helps, trust me on this one."

I fought him a bit, not wanting them to know the truth. Ron started going off about my judgment of character and insulted "who ever that disgusting guy was" which sparked a fight from Harry about my honor and what a piss poor friend Ron had been recently. Actually Ron had provided the turn in conversation I wanted. Both names were related to their tosser of a father. Ryuu meant Dragon Spirit and Kaida meant Little Dragon; both were Japanese. Draco meant dragon and I wanted him to be connected in name if nothing else. Now that the memories came back I realized I'd never stopped caring about Draco. Subliminally I must have still known. Why else would I have followed him into fashion or scoffed at the coffee shop? If my child wanted a relationship with him one day I would arrange it. All those matters were for the future. For now there was only me and...Ryuu.


	3. Chapter 3

(This chapter has one use of "the F" word. I will never be unnecessarily crude and only use cursing when I feel it is the best to explain/describe a situation or in character. J.K. Rowling wanted Ron to have more of a potty mouth but most of his choice words were edited out to be more appropriate for young readers. Fittingly enough it is Ron who drops the curse in this chapter. =D )

Draco POV

Cowardice and Other Failures (Song: Growl by EXO_으르렁 www. youtube watch?v=I3dezFzsNss ) (Also in Spotify but I recommend the youtube video since it is K-pop and these guys are known for their awesome 12 man dance moves!)

Swaggering out of my chauffeur-driven car was still my favorite thing about fashion shows. Lights went crazy and could strut and preen and absorb the attention for a few minutes before fading into the crowd to observe and praise or critique the others. I picked my next contract based on these appearances. From the entrances I could pick a fitting designer for my next gig or find my next girlfriend. At the least, it was entertaining. Another bonus of these shows was the introductions Eddy provided. Anyone who was "worth notice" was dragged to and fro by Ed Brokes. His voice rolled out above the crowd and his praise rang like a whistle. "That's right! You are looking at my next legend. Prodigy, if I ever had one. This one will put me under in the end and I can only hold out until I'm put under and out of my misery! I've not seen such talent since I entered this industry myself, if I may be so immodest!"

He stood wearing an eggplant ensemble next to a smirking and confident Hermione dressed in shimmery silver. There was tension in her shoulders that someone who knew her could decode. She was anxious. Eddy faded back into the photographers with "his successor" on his arm.

Every time I looked at her I felt a pit in my stomach. She had a glow about her that she hadn't had in June. Hermione looked like a comet in the sky as she talked to photographers and models alike. Her movements seemed so unique and contoured for her. We had avoided each other at work and since she had been on vacation the past three weeks I hadn't spared the past much thought. Now it seemed to crash down on me. She hadn't gone off to some country to change dirty politics. She hadn't gone on a world wide tour and explored a new field of study. Hell, she wasn't even in University as I might have thought she'd be. No. That would be fate being far too kind to me. She stood here on the runway looking sharp as a Sphinx and mingling in my circles. If a potion had let me see 1 year in the future (and I had seen this) I would have held Hermione tight and brought her into fashion with me instead of happenstance chances folding us in together. Part of me wanted to go over and ask her how she'd been. That holiday glow still clung to her, even a month later, and she seemed to have eaten her fill during the holidays. I loved that about her. She would eat a slice of cake and if she wanted a cookie after she'd eat that too. Hermione wasn't afraid calories and because of that fact they didn't seem to stick to her. It reminded me of a little paperback book she'd had on her bedside table in school. Though that fable seemed to be about trusting a higher power I liked the moral: That things only stick if you let them. She was confident and sexy and the negative things didn't get her down, just like success hadn't changed her.

At some point I had walked up to her and only now realized it. Reporters took advantage of my stunned state to ask about my career and upcoming sponsorship's. Next to me I heard a reporter sharply mention the weight Hermione had put on. I stuttered a bit, as did the reporter talking to me. Hermione however was poised for the attack. "Actually, yes, I have put on a bit of weight. A friend of mine has a mother who pretends to take offense if you don't eat thirds of her cooking. I can usually resist but her molasses cookies are just to good to pass up. That's the difference between models and designers. Offer either a cookie and the models will decline. I'll take the first, second, third, and maybe fourth if I like it! It wouldn't have been a true holiday for me without the treats." I scoffed. Only she could so smoothly twist an insult in her favor.

Most people here would stumble or get red-faced over a question like that then cry to their friends later. She would laugh about it later with Potter and the Weasley's. Everyone's eyes were on me. It was quiet. That scoff had been taken the wrong way, mockingly instead of endearingly. But of course it had been. Only she knew about our friendship and that had turned sour long ago. There was no need for her to speak to make herself understood, looks said it all: "Why don't you go betray someone else, Malfoy." Feeling fool enough, I forced myself to return and greet my date as she left her car. Allie was an American girl who had made her way to London in pursuit of a modeling career. She was nice and that was the problem. I knew I was using her to get my name out there. We were lovey-dovey in public -I was acting. She was genuine- but once we got inside I claimed to feel dizzy or have a developing head ache. We shared a bed some nights and other nights I claimed to be heading home to my mother. In actuality I was going on other dates or staying at other apartments. That day at the cafe was one of those: I often claimed to have two part shoots with the girls I left work with. What was coffee between coworkers?

Allie seemed hesitant when I kissed her lips and didn't quite lean in as she had before. No matter, there were plenty of available girls at these things. I only had to be seen alone to get a new girlfriend. We walked passed the gaggle of reporters I had already spoken to, though I noticed a certain brunette wasn't there anymore, and found our seats next to Eddy in the front row. He went about schmoozing those around him and spared me the need to entertain Allie by taking her around and introducing her to "everyone who was anyone". Our relationship was on its way out any way. Before the show started I had made eyes at a pretty brunette who had been talking to Allie before returning to her seat across the runway.

Winter Wonderland shows were some of my least favorite runway shows. They were full of sheer material and glitter. Everything was pastel and airy feeling. To me, it felt like designers had suddenly fallen in love with cotton candy and all based their designs off it. One could hardly tell where one designer's line ended and another began if they weren't checking the projection announcing it. Once the show started I began arguing with my parents (my father about the merits of a fashion career and my mother the importance of settling down young) in my head to keep myself awake and semi-interested looking. Reporters loved to ask the models what they thought about certain pieces and I refused to look stupid by not paying attention enough to answer. Allie sat next to me, her body angled away from me as she glued her eyes to the stage. Judging by her body language -and the way she worried her lip between her teeth- this would be out last date. I wondered which girl she had seen me with or heard about. That last shoot had been in a park and had gotten more...heated than required.

Here came the models: A pretty girl in a sea-foam green tulle explosion. A willowy girl in rosy pink mesh. A pretty face in shimmery blue. A narrow form in silver. It went on and on and as hard as I tried to pull details from one designer or another my mind continued to fight over the proper age for a heir to wed and produce heirs in my mind. In my parents opinion it was now. I had tried to convince them I had a few years.

Nearly seamlessly, the amateur designers intros had started. Each one started with a short video introducing the artist through head shots and showcasing a few of their best pieces. At least the colors had some substance to them, though that was the nicest thing to say about the first two up and coming lines. It remained to be accurate into the third designer. All the runway walk songs had an upbeat bounce and pace to them with the lights swaying and bouncing around the stage. Even their intro videos looked the same. Here was a shot of them leaning on a wall, then a glam shot with some bright colors, a poetic repose shot, then a flirty looking one. Blah. Even the designers as they came out looked like plus models in horrid pastel hues.

Suddenly all the lights were a harsh white and shone directly down. Every other one was further out then the others, giving the stage lighting a soft and wavy look. On the projection screen Hermione faded in. She wore a rigid black corset with edges so sharp they looked more like metal then leather. Her eyes were focused with wings as pointed as the apparel. Her next shot was a juxtapose image with the only color being the background of her office. Again she was in edgy black with an elegant up-do. Each picture was better than the last and each one unique and dark. Bloody hell, this was dark! Her line seemed to silence everyone. Each model had a morbid expression under their statue-esque hats and spindly wings or trains. Each piece was a different material though all would have looked right at home in Hades' ballroom. Here was something I would be watching. Finally some variety in the fashion industry. Bombarda Baroque by "Mione" Granger. The only problem with being obsessed, finally, with a designer was that it was Hermione -Mione to the fashion world- who was its ring leader. After her pictures had faded a line of girls framed the top of the screen while men held up the bottom. They were Bombarda Belle's and Baroque Boys. I would never see my image there, not with the shit I had pulled.

Before my fashion apatite was sated it was over. Models took to the edges of the stage and Hermione (wearing another edgy and cutting creation) walked the runway herself. We had made eye contact as she made her way past the safety of backstage curtains and I could almost imagine it was due to me she was able to hold her expression so fiercely. At the end of it she bowed without changing her stoic expression, as the others had, and returned to her place behind the scene. Eddy was clapping and cheering as the others screamed and whooped. It was a dull thrum in my mind. For one of the first times in my life I felt the sting of wanting something money couldn't buy. My Hermione, she was on to bigger and better and I had inadvertently brought her there and let her go. The designers all came out after their models lined the stage and did a final group bow before quickly returning to the shadows, first shows were tricky. (Mine hadn't been but I had been born into the public eye.) As Hermione passed her detached sleeve caught the breeze and billowed, exposing the word etched there. Mudblood. Right there on her left arm and clear as the Dark Mark on mine. We had a fight in the Hogwarts Head Tower, one of the first, and I had tried to convince her she deserved better. (A reoccurring theme in our brief relationship) In a sudden-bold-angry-rash move I had torn my sleeve and exposed the skull and snake there. I had yelled: " I AM SO DIRTY. SO BROKEN. I HAVE SCARS I WILL NEVER BE RID OF HERMIONE!" She had torn her shirt as well and exposed the word my aunt had sliced into her left forearm. Instead of yelling, which would have encouraged me to continue bellowing, she whispered. "I have scars of my own, Draco. It doesn't matter. Not anymore. We all have bruises. No one escaped the war without new blemishes." All the urges to fight left me at that calm remark. She was right, of course. Both of our left arms bore proof of our lost innocence. Our first romantic exploration of each other had started with her kissing my mark and murmuring her acceptance of our pasts. It hadn't been a thing after that. (I found her scar to be incredibly sexy. She wore it exposed like a reminder of the past and didn't bother to cover it like those coerced into Deatheaters hid their tattoos.

"Draco Malfoy, are you even pretending to care any more? I've been trying to talk to you for 30 seconds now. Why we are still doing this? You obviously don't give a damn. Forget it. I'll be the bigger person and set you free. This has never been anything but a game for you. Have you ever slept alone? All those magazines I've ignored were right, weren't they? You've never been mine. Have you? Never mind. I don't want to know the answer. Just...go. Just leave."

Before a response came she was gone. Across the stage that brunette had been watching us. She was obviously interested and why should I leave alone if this opportunity was presenting itself? Between waiting for the crowds to leave and the after party starting I reeled her in. Brianna was German and had taken an interest in fashion a few years ago. Her uncle, who doubled as her father since hers had died, paid to fuel her hobby. She saw any show she wanted and got into parties to rub shoulders with the stars on his name or tab. This was her first show in the UK and so far she claimed to like it more than the Italian shows though her playful demeanor announced her farce. She was a flirt and used her words and looks as weapons. (She was probably a Beauxbaton graduate; at Hogwarts she would have been in Slytherin.) Together we walked into the after party and I was again faced with Hermione. A biting remark left my mouth and we continued on our way. She wouldn't ruin my life. I couldn't waste my time wishing I hadn't made mistakes.

Hermione POV

Two Anxious Hearts (Song: Suddenly by Hugh Jackman/Les Miserables www. youtube watch?v=K_jGxHBSP_Y) (Also in Spotify)

New Years Eve was as lively as ever at The Burrow. There was food of all kinds, more drinks than could possibly be consumed in a night and a mass of redheads. Dinner had started at five and I found myself at 10:30 finally standing up from the table for the first time. Everyone was screaming and laughing and running through the house (Bill and Fleur were passing Victorie back and forth between people as she got steadier on her feet) While the noise had been welcomed at first it was giving me a touch of anxiety. Two floors up the volume started to fade and I found George on the stairwell outside his room. "Evening..." His breath reeked of alcohol and I was only just able not to gag. Two years ago there had been fireworks inside and pranks galore. Now that Fred was gone these celebrations were always two Weasley's short of a riot. George rarely joined in at parties anymore. I couldn't blame him. Loosing Fred had broken hearts all around but George had lost half of himself and had yet to learn to cope without.

"Hey, it's a bit quieter up here. Plus, you were the only one without company. I thought we'd come join you."

"Holidays just aren't the same. Fred would have loved to see this...all of us hanging out, you just days away from becoming a mom, Ron being a prick. Holidays are the hardest. They make me remember things I'd rather forget. Have you ever felt like..." He stopped and hiccuped. "Like a Dementor has taken up residence inside you...I don't think I'll ever be as happy again." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and rested my head against him. He held on to me just as tight. After a few minutes of silence he started telling Ryuu stories about all the pranks he had pulled through out school. When I began drifting off to sleep George helped me to Ginny's room and to my bed. For 30 minutes I dozed but couldn't rest. Ryuu was uncomfortable and often let me know it. We were both done with this pregnancy. I was awake for the midnight countdown though I wish I hadn't been. At midnight everyone kissed and I found myself standing awkwardly next to Ron. Moments before midnight George sluthed his way in between us and gave me a kiss on each cheek as the new year came in. Around four everyone went to bed and I found myself still lying in bed. As the sun came up around 7 am I finally drifted off. At 4 pm I woke up feeling cramps and crazy hunger. Everyone was gathered around a fire snacking and watching the impromptu Quidditch game. At six I started to sweat and cramp and tears were forced out of my eyes. Molly helped me back inside and we waited a bit longer before calling Madame Pomfrey. Nine o'clock found me screaming and aching. By ten I was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts with Ron, Harry, and Ginny. I felt like the entire day had been a blur and only now began to separate itself into pieces. This was the first time back at Hogwarts since remembering my relationship with Draco. I panicked.

Madame Pomfrey glanced up from my pulsing stomach and threatened to knock me out for the birth if I didn't calm down.

"Not here! I can't, not here. I can't be here. There's too much of him. The Burrow. Please!"

I saw Harry and Ron exchange glances while Ginny took over Poppy's place for a moment. After the Floo blazed and murmurs passed back and forth Ginny held my hand again. Molly was more than happy to accommodate us and was tidying the front room for me. As the fireplace flashed green, the signal, and the blankets were wrapped around me Harry plucked me from the infirmary bed. Ron went through first with another flash of orange hair following him. Harry stepped through -Ron was already out of sight by this point- and quickly set me on the couch. Madame Pomfrey came two minutes later with a large medical bag. From inside she first pulled a freshly made bed, privacy curtains, socks, and a whole heap of sheets, towels, and blankets.

I had spent most of the day and pre-labor sleeping and thank goodness. Ryuu finally came screaming into the world at 3 am and I was tired and emotional and felt so raw in every aspect. Poppy quickly toweled him off -fuzzing his plentiful blond hair- and passed him to me. Ron, hearing the newborn cries rushed back in and stared.

"Bloody hell Hermione! Malfoy? Fucking Malfoy?"

I was too tired. I couldn't -but had to- do this right now. Or not. Ginny had this managed.

"Ron, shut it. No wonder Hermione didn't tell you! This is how you react? She just spent nine hours in labor and you choose now to go off about parentage? You're as bad as the Purebloods you hate on!"

Ron and Ginny continued arguing but I had expected that. There was a feud between the Malfoy and Weasley families that started so long ago I doubted anyone remembered the reason it began. Ginny wasn't defending the Malfoy's, as Ron was trying to accuse her of, but defending me. While they fought -Ron was eventually shooed away by Arthur- Harry came over and brushed some disgustingly sweaty hair out of my face but said nothing. He looked down at Ryuu as I did and instantly saw what Ron was on about. Ryuu had a full head of hair so white it was nearly invisible, eyes every bit the Malfoy blue, and a narrow face. His nose was a bit squished but it looked like the beginnings of a Granger nose. I doubted his face would be as narrow as Draco's. Perhaps he'd get my face shape. Molly was every bit the fawning grandmother (she had appointed herself as such the instant I told her I was expecting) and took care of everything around me. Poppy took care of the medical side of things and made sure both Ryuu and I were alright.

Finally around six, twelve hours after going into labor, everyone but Harry and Ginny had gone to bed. I lay on the couch holding Ryuu.

"In our last year at Hogwarts I was teaching Draco to cook. For some reason I thought skills in Potions would transfer to cooking. It doesn't, in case you were wondering. Draco kept asking how many stirs he should do or what ingredient came next. We were making chicken noodle soup! It took five tries for him to feel comfortable. I still can't stomach the taste of it because we made it so often trying to "perfect the recipe". There was another time he decided instead of cooking he would try baking. I had warned him that it was more like potions, as far as combining ingredients to get the right effect went, and he insisted he'd be a natural. As he mixed and poured I fell asleep over my homework. When I woke up there was a perfect cake with a decent attempt at frosting on the counter. After graciously taking the praise he served dinner (the elves had brought it up) and we ate dessert. He sat down to do homework I tidied up then went for a shower. Before I got in I remembered that my towel was in his room. As I turned to leave his room for the bathroom I noticed it smelled like vanilla and noticed batter dripping through a tear in the bag in his wastebasket. He had messed up the cake attempt so badly that it was gritty and still mushy, though the outside ring was holding the cake pan's shape where it sat in the mesh."

Harry let out a Sirius-like bark of laughter and Ginny kept laughing for minutes after I'd finished. Finally after one particularly out of character story she snorted, "I wish I could have seen this side of Draco. He sounds Devil-may-cry and charming in these stories. You must be the only person who's seen that side of him. He always strut around like there was a broomstick up his ass around me. Though, that might have been because Voldemort was literally his house guest and holding him and his parents hostage. I'd be like that too."

It got quiet and a sudden memory hit me.

"My favorite memory of your daddy, Ryuu, was the night we first officially agreed to date. We were sitting on top of the Astronomy Tower talking and Draco reached out for my hand and instead he brushed my arm. The raised skin caught his attention and I remember trying to pull away but he was too quick. It was my left arm. He pulled up the sleeve curiously and paled when he realized what he had touched. The blade Bellatrix had used when she carved into my arm had been enchanted and the scar couldn't be removed. "Mudblood" had been raised there ever since. I had turned my face away when he pulled the sleeve of his own sweater up to reveal the Dark Mark still branded into his flesh. I'll never forget what he said. It's still a bit of a life motto for me, even if he is being an ass currently. "Hermione, we all have bruises." He said. I turned back and he ran my right hand over his raised skin. "I've made my share of mistakes. This blemish is a badge of courage, not a Dark Mark. It makes you all the more...Gryffindor. We had a fight a while later and I had to remind him we both had blemishes to work through."

Both Harry and Ginny had stopped and seemed to run out of things to say. It was hard to believe the Draco from 10 or 11 months ago was the same man I worked with sometimes. As we sat in silence I came to the decision to tell him about Ryuu. He had a right to know and I knew he hadn't actually changed his mind about us and our relationship when he left. Perhaps he was hiding, still hurting as I pretended not to be. Even if he had moved on he deserved to know. Ryuu would want to know his daddy. I wanted Ry to know Draco. Being from an old Pureblood family I knew Draco would want to know his heir as well. It wouldn't be hard to get a private moment on the pretense of gaining him as a Baroque Boy. Telling him would be harder but worth it to watch his expression. He could come back with me after the show and I could already imagine how softly he would cling to the bundle of baby blankets around our little man.

It was easier to remember him as he had been when I hadn't seen him recently. I saw him at the Winter Showcase two weeks later... My constructed image of Draco was again shattered. He interrupted my first interview with a scoff and seemed to haunt the ground five steps behind me the rest of the night. Even on stage he was right there. Lurking. I would say 'lurking in the shadows' but he was obviously and openly there. All hopes of talking to him left when he was nothing but bitter and cruel. I knew it was an act but I wouldn't talk to him while he was doing it. I still thought about writing him during the show as I pinned and adjusted outfits. This was the latest I had stayed up in months and the racing brain mixing with the demands of final checks helped keep me attentive.

As the models lined the runway, myself and four other amateur designers took to the stage and walked to the edge to wave and thank the crowd. Eddy stood and cheered for us in the front row. Next to him Draco sat and politely clapped, tipping his head at the girl next to me. .Ing. I knew he was doing it intentionally; trying to get a rise out of me. Backstage I kept thinking about his demeanor tonight. He had to have realized I had recovered from his little stunt. His motivation to be nasty had left when my memories came back and yet he was still acting as though we had never been more than acquaintances. It hurt. My guts clenched tighter and stomach acid boiled harder the longer I tried to enjoy the after party in the Brokes and Co atrium. Draco had shown up with a blond girl -an American model from another company with hair a bit darker than his- and was now sharing a drink -and saucy looks- with a brunette.

I sat sipping my drink and nibbled on the cranberry and goat cheese topped crackers we were given as I thought about ways to tell him we had a son and that our boy was amazing and beautiful and needed him. Soft cheeses had been limited the past few months and I hadn't realized how much I had missed them until now. I wanted three more...or nine more. As the tray came around again I stood and retrieved a few more. Before the settee and I found each other again someone bumped into me. An apology jumped to my lips but he was quicker.

"Ah Granger! Here alone I see. Never could catch a man's eye and keep it!"

Funny how quickly one can change their mind. Ten minutes ago I was sure Ryuu needed a dad and now I was sure we were better off without him. Ryuu didn't need shitty role models. He would have Harry and the Weasley's -perhaps Ron, eventually- to look up to.

Before I lost it and created a front page article for the Daily Prophet I prepared my escape. I couldn't take it anymore. Once Eddy had seen me socializing and a decent amount of time had passed I made myself scarce and crept to the second floor Floo a few moments later. In my flat the fire roared back to it's cheery orange glow after the powder had dissolved. All night the mantra, "I will not break" played through my head but it was over. Done. I could fall apart now. First came the shakes, then my face grew tingly, my eyes started to leak, and a sob sounded off. Harry came running from Ryuu's room and clung to me as much as I held him. It was after 2 am and the stress and upheaval of my sleep pattern wasn't helping keep my emotions in check.

"Oh, Hermione! You shouldn't have gone. I knew Malfoy would be an ass to you. Come one, let's get you in a warm bath and relaxed."

He started the large soaking tub, added the bubbles and soothing oils to the running water and stepped out. Ginny met him at the door and passed the bundle of baby off so she could help me unlace the bodice of my gown. I climbed into the hot water and felt muscles loosen from toes to shoulders. Ginny sat in the wicker chair next to me and read some Quidditch strategy book. I peeked my toes through the thick bubbles and tried to quiet my sobs When Ryuu started crying she spared Harry the practice of calming a raging baby back to sleep and they switched again, Harry taking the seat (and book) she vacated. When my lungs were working properly and my face had begun to dry he asked about the night. My reply that "everything" was wrong with my night he began to break it down smaller. Was my line a disaster? No. Did my dress rip on stage? Were the other designers rude? Was Eddy upset? No. Was Draco abrasive? I let everything concerning him out and wept. It had been silent a few minutes when Ginny came in looking for the baby wipes. A few attempts at explaining later Harry took Ryuu from her arms and went to deal with the mess in his nappie. Ginny brought my nightgown in and went to tidy up the kitchen a bit while I dried off. By the time I had dried the tears from my face and dressed Harry paced the living room, bouncing Ry to sleep, and Ginny hummed from the tiny sink as she cleaned up their snack.

I sat on the couch with Harry -Ginny joined us after cleaning the kitchen up- and it was there the paper found us an hour later. On it's front cover was a picture taken from behind Draco's perfectly shaggy head. His dark mark showed on the bottom of the frame as he politely clapped. It wouldn't have bothered me if it was only Draco there. Whoever took this image had exceptional timing. I walked by in front of him and my sleeve split to show my own mark. It's title was even worse than the image.

"TENSION ON THE CATWALK: COULD GRANGER AND MALFOY HAVE A SECRET -PERHAPS SORDID- PAST?

Despite the voices in my head screaming at me for doing so I opened the paper and began to read. A paragraph in Ginny tore the paper from my grasp and threw it in the fire. "Honestly, the shit they print these days... It's a wonder the paper is still in business. They will find clues where there aren't any to make a story. I skimmed. There was nothing actually in there. It is all based off the noise he made and whatever he said at the after party. I doubt he is willing to out you, exposing himself in the process. Come on Hermione, you need to sleep."


	4. Chapter 4

Well, after loosing 3 family members and 2 friends to untimely demises as well as fighting through some depression I am back. It's taken months to get back into writing but I've survived and have more free time than ever. (My husband got a large promotion so now I am not working and instead maintaining the house and trying to publish my books!) From now on there will be a chapter published every Friday -with some in between if I have time to write more- until all 30 chapters are finished. Hope you are here still with me. Also, welcome to those of you who are new. I cant wait to share this story with you.

Draco POV

Ladies and the Drinks. (Song: Shots (Acoustic) by Imagine Dragons www. youtube watch?v=Tni74ocFxtQ ) (Also on Spotify)

Spring had flown by. In fact, I didn't remember much of it. My life had started slipping and after seeing Hermione in January had taken a turn for the worse. It had become a hobby of mine to date beautiful woman until I was bored then, without breaking up with them, find someone new. That game eventually got old too before a friend realized I had dated girls with the first four letters in the alphabet since January. I dated Allie, (who went to the Winter showcase with me) Brianna, (who I met at the showcase but didn't call back for a week or two after) Candy, (Brianna's best friend) Dianne (A bartender at my favorite strip club.) and Daphne Greengrass (Who was more like an ever present side dish as I had also spent a few nights with her between and during all the other relationships.) all before March. It was after boredom with Giselle and flirting with Hannah (It took me a record of three weeks as a single gent to get over that fact that Hermione started with an H.) that my mother confronted me on my public image and destroying the Malfoy name.

To call it a fight would be to put it mildly... I noticed her first and swaggered in that direction until she started yelling and I turned to scuttle off.

"DRACO MALFOY! YOU GET YOUR BLOND, INEBRIATED ASS TO ME THIS INSTANT! I WILL NOT HAVE YOU DRINKING AND SMOKING YOURSELF INTO OBLIVION! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THE FAMILY NAME? MALFOY'S WERE RESPECTED UNTIL YOU AND YOUR FATHER SET FIRE TO OUR REPUTATION. I DID NOT SAVE YOU FROM THE DEATH EATERS TO WATCH YOU VOMIT YOURSELF INTO AN EARLY GRAVE! YOU ARE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE PUREBLOOD WORLD, YOUR WASTED IMAGE IS PLASTERED ON EVERY MAGAZINE AND I'M SICK OF FEELING EMBARASSED FOR YOU. COME WITH ME NOW OR FACE ME BY FORCE LATER. IF YOU AREN'T IN MY CAR IN TWO MINUTES YOUR NAME WILL NO LONGER BE IN THE WILL OR IN THE MANOR'S WARDS. DO I MAKE MYSELF...CLEAR?"

That phrase, "Don't mess with your matriarch" never made more sense and without once glancing back at my date (I think her name was Sara..Sierra…Kara…something ending with an 'A') I stumbled into the passenger seat of that oh-so-familiar magically altered automobile. Without stopping my mother sped towards the country and I realized moments too late where we were. Rehab. There had been a subtle sticking charm on the seat and armrest. I was trapped.

Now, here I found myself October 20th, just remembering my Spring, Summer, and Autumn activities. My private suite would have been comfortable if not for all the magazines placed on the side and coffee tables. Each one showed 'yours truly' high, drunk, or otherwise altered. Not one of them looked flattering or showed a sliver of the model I had briefly become before the hardcore partying and craze took over. Brokes and Co had put my shoots and opportunities on hold when my mother told them of her plan. They knew I was still worth something, even if I didn't feel it currently. Outside of the people who worked here I was only allowed visits from my mother and Eddy Brokes (though Daphne sent me letters every so often. She still wanted to date me and wanted to make sure I wanted that as well. I was glad to keep her around.) From April to August I dealt with a Mind Healer -a therapist in the Muggle world- and in August Ed found me a mentor. Her job was to guide me back safely into the modeling world's cream of the crop. I did not envy her position; fallen angels were closer to the top than I.

Her name was Coco Roco and she came into my suite in a burst of fluorescents and neon hues. She dragged her Asymetrical manicure across my face and called me "dearie". Eddy had asked what I thought of her after our first meeting. When I told him we had nothing in common he laughed and left without another word. In "Eddish" it was as good as saying "Just you wait and see". She came every day and always at different times. Sometimes we talked about the magazines scattered around here and the fashion in them. Other times we spoke about my involvement in the war, relationships that had left scars, and how I perceived the world around me. Her outfits were always garish and bright, exact opposites to my established look. Her hair was charmed white like powdered sugar and worn in a messy bun. In September her visits slowed to once a week and became more intense. Gone were the days of discussing satin versus silk or which bold moves so-and-so had made. They were hard. Why had I spun out of control? What were the steps to controlling the urges that pulled me down? Who was trying to use me and who actually cared? When did I see myself leaving rehab and how was I getting closer to that goal? Where had I gone wrong? Despite the more intense topics I wished she visited more than once a week. It was getting lonely in here.

Soon after our meetings dropped to once a week magazines started showing up with rising stars and inspirational stories. (They had been collecting these my whole stay. Some of them hit the shelves the week I came here.) Apparently they were meant to help me fill in the blanks and get me back on track. In reality each one cut me. Dean Thomas had done a spread for Bombarda Baroque with a beautiful blond at Hermione's request and became an instant star. He had won the "up and up" award Eddy was certain I would have won if I hadn't landed myself in rehab as well as a few other awards we were competing for. Sven Serpionov had continued climbing and was now lead Baroque Boy this year. Seeing him with Hermione always made my stomach lurch at first glance: I thought it was our secret -revealed and in the open. We looked so similar. Daphne Greengrass was accepting awards too. These were people I had worked above, people I had thought would fail, people who I had abandoned. Above all else I hated the magazines when they showed Hermione on someone else's arm. Always the same someone. I finally picked one up (It was a September edition) and flipped to the page featuring the front page story. "Hermione Granger, creator of the stunning and emotional Bombarda Baroque fashion label, seen with Muggle/Magical movie star Alexander Moore at his premiere last Saturday night. Rumor has it that the couple met each other in July after Miss Granger's first successful runway show where she caught the eye of said celebrity. Whether this relationship is exclusive has not been confirmed as of yet but we will keep you posted as this romance blooms."

I threw the magazine just as Coco came in with Ed. Both looked at the front of the cover and looked back to me. Coco was going to ask me about it and force a conversation about why Miss Granger and Moore's friendship bothered me. Eddy looked extremely pleased with himself, like he had figured out a secret, and puffed his chest a bit. Oh, if only he knew. They had come to let me know some good news. As a sort of between house to reacquaint me with the world I was to stay with parents but Eddy had stepped in and my mother signed forms allowing Coco to house me instead.

That is where I woke to find myself in October. I rolled out of the king size bed and pulled back the drapes blocking the view of the pool and sunlight from the room. Coco lived in a huge loft house -it seemed more glass than wood or steel- which we shared for the time being. I had wondered if there was anyone else living with her but quickly came to the realization that she lived alone and had for some time. It was technically still a rehab stop for me but I was growing close to her and was glad to keep her company. Outside Coco was scanning a fashion magazine near the pool; it's water refracted light waves across her face. Ten minutes later I had dressed, showered, and joined her with some toast.

"Part of this rehab is to get the difficult stuff out in the open. I've been trying to put it off until you were ready. This conversation was supposed to happen weeks ago, before you moved here, but I couldn't allow it to set back progress. Draco, do you know what set you off and encouraged this party phase?"

I looked at her then back to the pool and was tempted to glance at her again but felt it was too melodramatic. With eyes glued to the pool I felt my head shake side to side. It was too soon. I couldn't talk about her. I couldn't tell Coco, who had become so close so fast, about Hermione. Eddy was right to let her be my guide but in this situation she was a bit too close to the root of the problem. She was a Brokes designer and was in the office across from Hermione. Too close was a bit of an understatement. "Draco I already figured it out. I was seeing if you could stand bringing her up. I don't know who she is or if she was the one to end it but this reaction is too violent to be anything else. What you had together must have been really special to cause such an upheaval to your life. I know..."

She had triggered a flood. "She didn't dump me. I left her. I modified her memory and left her but she knows. She knows it was me who buried those memories. They all came back to her much quicker than I expected. Now I have to face her and see it in her eyes. We were a perfect couple and amazing together and I didn't want my Malfoy reputation to destroy the chances she had and now I wonder if I made the right choice by deceiving her. It obviously didn't go according to plan."

"First, breathe. Pause to breathe while you speak. Hyperventilating will hardly help us. You should probably do your best not to be informed on her whereabouts and life. Separating yourself would help you both heal at this point, perhaps."

Air whooshed out of me and I felt the shaking start. It was like withdrawals but from a presence not a substance. There was no way to avoid her and still model. Those paths crossed daily. I felt Coco's arms surround me and she led me into the house. We went into the middle area which consisted of walls of glass and ornate art. (My slipping control on my magic made this a bad room to be in. One wrong thought or slip of control could destroy this room.) Her stairs here were translucent as well. I liked the room but it felt rather ethereal for a panic attack like the one I was slipping into. We went into a room I thought to be a walk in coat closet and at the back-left side there was a door that hid a concrete staircase. At the bottom of that there was an open space divided into two areas. One was full of tulle and neon, Coco's older lines in display cases and photographs of the best of her runway lines. Behind that was another dark looking door. We went through that one. It was a long hallway and at the end was a single red chair in front of a portrait of an older gentleman. Directly to my right was an archway leading to yet another door. With this maze of underground passages my panic attack was held at bay but slowly starting to gain speed and crush me. Coco led me through the arch and doorway at its end into a dark stoned room with dim lighting full of junk. In a straight line there was ugly pottery, floral printed china, warped glass, and a muggle hammer. Near the sides was horrid fabric and rugs as well as a blade.

"This is my "Dark Room". When I feel myself frustrated or slipping into old mannerism I come down here and slash, shatter, rip, break, and destroy things. There is a Reparo charm on the room so after you have broken everything or say the word everything corrects itself. You may start again or if it has done it's job leave it be. I'll be outside near the portrait when you have gotten it out of your system." With that Coco stepped out and my curious rage took over. Throwing the plates and cups against the wall made a most satisfying shatter and after destroying and repairing most everything in the room a few times my breathing settled and arms grew leaden.

Coco sat in the red chair in front of the old man and spoke softly to him. He had a twinkle in his eye and greeted me by name as I neared them. I was handed a photo album and a chair was conjured for me. It was full of a very young Coco. There were pictures of very elegant Coco on magazine fronts receiving awards and rocking the runway. She was a star of my caliber! Those were followed by images of pregnant Coco and her baby, then toddler, then child, then mid-aged teen. Her daughter had dark hair, marble-white skin, large sculpted lips, and dangerous "come-hither" eyes. She was stunning. One flip of the page, it was made of a thicker paper and harder to turn, represented the kaleidescope of her world. It was a front page headline. Her daughter had been killed in a Muggle car accident outside of London. The Muggle had been drunk and knocked both his own car and the one her daughter and her friends were in into the river. No one survived and medical specialists speculated that half of the occupants had been knocked out in the initial impact. Only her daughter had been magical and she was one of those unconscious. After those there was an article announcing her separation from her husband. Pages after were filled with depressed, intoxicated, and out-of-it images of Coco in magazines. It looked as though she aged overnight. There were dates written under the pictures and they spanned about a year and a half. Towards the end she was brought to rehab after being found on the streets. Her ex-husband started showing up again and there were articles about her release into his care. They were remarried and the gentleman in the images started to look more and more like the portrait in front of me now. Coco and her husband had recovered and gone on to live fabulously.

"When I saw your pictures all over the magazines I knew it was my turn to give back. I called Edward and told him I wanted to pull you out of this and set you back on track. He thought I was just the person to do it. I know you are hurting Draco. I know the allure of alcohol and partying. I also know you can get back out there and prove that it was a set back not a career breaker. This girl could easily see that and come back to you. My husband came and pulled me out of rehab. He had done therapy after loosing our Aurora and had realized this exact thing. He wanted me back and fought to get it. You can get her back. It's not over Draco; it's just beginning."

She was right. It was a pitfall, not the end. It's not like I didn't have chances to improve visibly. Every day was a new chance and I was lucky in that regard. "I'm not going to be able to avoid seeing her." It was quiet for a moment and when I looked up I was met by concerned but strong eyes.

"May I ask her name, Dearie. It will be just between us but as your mentor I want to be able to help you through this and I need to know who to keep and eye on if I am to do it."

"Hermione Granger of Bombarda Baroque."

She raised her eyebrows, nodded, then chuckled and asked if I would like lunch now, or in a few hours when Daphne came to spend the night. It was October and soon I would be back in my own flat. Coco liked having me here and, what I thought was a clever attempt to keep me here longer, allowed Daphne to spend the night if she wanted to.

Hermione POV

Livin' the Life (Song: Whistle (while you work it) by: Katy Tiz www. youtube watch?v=G9k2f6VAB7c ) (Also on Spotify)

After the success of the winter showcase Eddy had made me a focus. It was nice to know he was invested in me but it also meant I saw a lot more of him, which wasn't bad, per say, but I certainly got less work done with him around. Most of his endless talking was for show. I realized this shortly after the showcase and thought back on how often I had seen him one on one before my breakout line. I could count the times on one hand! In the past week Eddy had stopped by my office about twice a day -in hour or so blocks each time- to discuss what I thought about certain people or how I thought my next line was going. There were quite a few deep conversations mixed in as well though. He worried over Draco's sudden decline and tried to get me to brainstorm reasons/triggers with him but I couldn't. The guesses would be too close for comfort. What could I say? "I think Draco is having a rough time because we were dating and we were in love and he shattered it and left me alone and now has to watch as I succeed alone where we could have done this together?" Nope. Instead Eddy got vague answers from me. "Fame does weird things to people" and "Anything could have set Malfoy off." He seemed to realize we had some sort of past and really it made sense to assume. We had been in the same school year at the same school and obviously avoided each other. A past was one thing and a secret love child was another. No. Eddy wouldn't get my help on this one. Though he tried endlessly and sneakily to get in.

About a week after the showcase Eddy showed up at my office with a disgruntled Marcella MacMillan. She was to show me around the company and make sure I was well informed on office placements and different departments in it. We stopped by her office first so she could "readjust her schedule to fit this intrusion." Her office was just beside mine and a fair bit larger. She made a show of puttering around and huffing every so often. It was melodrama to the extreme. After that she introduced me to the other designers on the floor. Apparently it was normal to be rude to each other. It was cut-throat and grim eat grim in this industry.

April 2nd when I got to work Eddy was walking towards the atrium steps with Narcissa Malfoy in a low murmuring conversation. I heard the words "done standing idly by" and "by force" and "hold his career" and "save him from himself" as I passed. Judging from those phrases there was to be an intervention soon. While picking up my coffee a week later Draco was splashed across the front page (Narcissa dragging him into a Muggle convertible plastered across it.) it didn't cause more than vague interest. Good. Now Draco would be gone for a while and I could focus. I could work without worrying he was going to show up and panic me. Also, it was probably better that he was cut off now before life completely blew up on him. I didn't really care about him anymore. It was only a half lie. Really, it was. It was his life and he made his choice and could live with it. If he ever wanted to get to know Ryuu he had to fix his act and if it took rehab to do it, so be it.

May crept up on me and along with it came crazy changes. In the first few days award nominations for Amateur designer of the Year, Next Top Designer, Innovative Fashion Favorite, and Most Eligible Bachelorette were dropped off on my desk by puffed up owls. Eddy was extremely pleased when I asked him what the specifics of these awards were and spent the next few days talking about it with any employee within ear shot. I was also offered employment opportunities by two other agencies but couldn't find it in myself to abandon Eddy after he gave so much to launch my career. One offer was very tempting too. It was for an agency in Paris and would pay 15,000 more per year and paid for some living expenses. It was that offer and someone nearly realizing Ryuu's parentage that made me realize London was too close to my past for comfort. I had been biting my lip and thinking it over when Eddy came in and recognized the emblem on the glossy parchment.

"Mione, please tell me you aren't considering that invitation! I can't loose you so soon. You aren't my shining star yet but we are so close."

"Well Ed, it has some serious selling points. I would love a bigger office plus they are offering a large raise and paying a portion of my living. London has too many ghosts for me. I'd love to move out and start over in a new home."

He tutted and told me not to make any decisions yet so he could meddle and adjust things to my liking. Two weeks later I stopped just outside of the Floo to look up at the new banner in the atrium. All three models images had been raised a few feet. Prior to today there had only been models on the banners. Now there were two more images. Designers. More specifically Brokes and Co's lead designers. Normally this wouldn't stop me in my tracks but anytime one sees themselves on a 30 foot banner unexpectedly it is bound to happen. The image was from a recent show. I wore a lace and feather mini dress with a red flower near the left shoulder. It had been one of my favorite outfits because of the lace flowers, all interconnected with thin bands and sheer spaces, and the sexy yet classy feel of it. Also, the skirt was entirely composed of raven-like black/green feathers. The contrast of the textures had won me over the second I lay eyes on it. (I had learned how to admire someones work and not desire to claim or own it in the past few months. I knew who was better than me and wanted to follow them around and learn from them.) I had felt radiant in the dress that night and it showed. All 30 feet of radiance shown down on the lobby as my bewitched image faced the camera with a smirk and spun to pose in a hand-on-waist side shot. Next to me stood one of the male designers I had just met earlier in the week. His name sounded Italian but I had forgotten it already.

"I see you noticed the new additions. We decided it was time to spotlight our designers as well as models. Talent is talent after all! Anyway, we thought about putting our most experienced up there but then the idea to put our up and coming, best and brightest in my opinion, on instead arose. Naturally, you were our top choice. Also, in an effort to keep Paris off your mind I've been speaking to our sister office in France to arrange a Floo connection from their office to ours. We can discuss a portion of money to help with housing if you wanted to move to France. You can live there and still work here if you'd like to. It would actually increase your privacy as you would be arriving like everyone else but living internationally. Who would guess you didn't live nearby? Just think on it! No need to answer right away, of course!" Eddy had followed me all the way to my office as he chattered and only made to cut off and escape once my hand was on the door nob. It swung open and I quickly realized it had been expanded. A swift glance told me Eddy had vanished (It was the fastest I had seen -or not seen- him leave.) I knew it was bigger than any of the other offices and the added balcony overlooking Wizarding London was an exclusive perk. Only one advantage now remained with the job in Paris: a pay raise. Though that was quickly solved too. There was a contract on my desk renegotiating my wages. It was an 17,000 a year raise in exchange for being named Brokes and Co top designer and doing occasional promotions for them as well as attending events in their stead. Everything had been solved for me. I really hadn't wanted to leave the company so soon and they had made it very possible to stay.

"Mione Granger, I couldn't help but notice your new poster on my way in today. It is well earned." Sven leaned on the door frame and angled his chin at the floor while his eyes searched mine. Sometimes he looked so much like Draco it made me jump, though the Russian accent distinguished him. "Thank you Sven. Is there something I can help you with?" He shifted his weight and his angled gaze intensified. Dinner. He had asked for dinner and wine tonight. He was absolutely stunning and his charming personality only made the offer more tempting.

"Oh. I'm sorry Sven, I can't. I find it unprofessional to date my models. That is the only thing that keeps us professional. I'm sure we would have a lovely time together and I would love to wine and dine with you, but only as friends. Otherwise it would put me in a horrid situation." His lips had puckered as I spoke and that smoldering expression slipped into a darker one. In the end he nodded and said he would ask once we were no longer working on the same projects. With a twist of his hand he went back to the model's hallway. Whew! The last person I wanted to be compared to was Marcella, who notoriously dated all the models and assistants. It really was a shame. Sven was an amazing person. With him on my mind I reorganized my office into the larger space and set to work.

On Saturday July 22nd I enlisted Harry and Ginny to help me move. I had found an old chateau in France that needed serious repairs and was being sold for an amazing price in early June. It almost felt wrong buying it from the Muggles selling it because of what a deal it was but I had fallen in love and couldn't resist. Plus, I had let Eddy suffer enough wondering if I was going to stay or leave. When I signed for the home and grounds I sent him an owl with my decision. (Brokes and Co had become a type of aggressive family to me over the past year.) With the roof and plumbing repairs finished it was comfortable enough by mid July. Ginny watched Ryuu the day before so I could go charm the walls the colors I wanted and rearrange furniture to my liking. It was around noon when Harry and Ginny saw the house for the first time. It was a bit ragged right now but the potential was easily seen. All the climbing roses were blooming and the grounds had been fixed up magically yesterday and seemed to have held. They loved it as much as I did. Harry took to cleaning up the living room, kitchen, and both master bedroom and Ryuu's room next door. Ginny took Ryuu outside and she revived the lawns, fountains, and gazebo. (He loved her so much and she was ecstatic to spend as much time with him as possible.) I worked on unpacking everything into the proper places. After a few hours of working separately we worked together in the dining hall to dust, drape, and organize before dinner. We sat in contented silence and ate our rosemary game hens and gravy-coated potatoes. Once we had cleaned up and all sat in the living room I turned to Ginny.

"So I have a proposition for you. I need to find a nanny for Ryuu and somehow swear them to secrecy or mind charm them into forgetting what they do here. You mentioned last week wanting a part time job and I was wondering if you'd help with Ryuu when I can't find someone. I'd be willing to pay above average and..."

"Hermione don't worry about a nanny, I'd love to spend my days with Ry. I can watch him while you are at work. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I brought Teddy by with me sometimes as well. I have a feeling they are going to be great friends as they get older. It's not like Harry will miss me at home seeing as he works more than you do. I may need an occasional day off but I'm sure George wouldn't mind covering for me or Ron and if they are all busy you know my mum wouldn't let an opportunity to watch him pass her by. Watching him is much better than anything part time I can think about. I'd rather spend my days here with him than work anywhere else. Eight hours with my favorite nephew is nothing!" She tickled him and blew raspberries on his tummy as he giggled and smiled.

I couldn't express how relieved I was. Having family watch Ryuu was the surest way to keep the outside world...out. No one would find our secret and spread it through the tabloids. Draco wouldn't "hear through the grapevine" and come looking for us. For now, we were safe. No negative exposure, no seeing Draco on bus advertisements in the streets, no bothersome neighbors who see resemblance, no talkative nannies or fame hunters. I hadn't felt so relieved or at peace in a while.


	5. Chapter 5

Draco POV

Growing Up and Burning Out (Song: Sometime Around Midnight by Airborne Toxic Event www. youtube watch?v=UYPoMjR6-Ao Also on Spotify) 

Due to an unspoken agreement not to talk to or associate with each other I had avoided the front section of the Bombarda Baroque events. Designers walked out after their finales and the possibility of not being able to control my facial expressions perfectly terrified me. Every reporter was prowling for a new article and something to give that edge over others. If I made an unimpressed face or she glanced down and couldn't hide her hate they would twist it into something neither of us felt like dealing with. Tonight I felt like testing my limits. Tonight I was not only getting in but also hoping for a V.I.P. seat in the front row. Brokes would have given it to me if I asked but it was something I could earn by making it known I was expecting it. I was going to apologize to Hermione after the show with a bouquet of flowers to speak for me. 

I hadn't planned on walking " paparazzi gauntlet" before the show but had dressed for it nonetheless. As I walked out of my office and attempted nonchalance on the way to my car Eddy fell in to step next to me. 

"You always make us proud. Who are you wearing tonight? Never mind, it looks as perfect as everything else does on you. Some people were born to model. I was born to be your agent, Malfoy. You are heading to the show, yes? Good. I've been hoping you'd take my up on the offers since Miss Granger came into her own. I have a seat reserved for myself and two guests at the front and if you are going to this one you will be by my side, at the front. I'll take no excuse as an answer. Behave on the carpet. Perhaps try to ignore those who have questions about your mother's enforced vacation. Remember, you represent the company." 

He kept talking and, much to my chagrin, he followed me to my car and mentioned how lucky he would be to get a ride with me as he nudged my arm and got in the passenger seat. Lucky me. I tuned him out. (He knew I often did and would occasionally bring me back in by addressing me and using my name in a question. It was a comfortable habit by now: He joked about my inattentiveness and how it must have influenced my dating life while I teased about how much he liked the sound of his own voice and was desperate to make sure it became the voice of his models consciences.) As we drove my mind wandered to the possible ways this show could run. If I dodged the media until after the show Hermione might not realize I was there and everything would run smoothly. Or I could get caught upon entry and word could travel backstage. Did I even know if it would throw her off? No. Did I really care? Oddly, yes. Those magazines back in the rehab had messed with my mind. She was seeing someone? I was the last person she had dated and even still jealousy seemed to be running alongside me. I would get over it and kick it to the curb, eventually I would. 

Remembrance Baroque consisted of four stages: Ruin, Rage, Revival, and Recovery. Each was more stunning than the previous, though I knew the first would haunt me long after the others faded. As soon as the lights shifted and the first model walked in a dress made of black scraps with only one ballet flat shoe I broke. This was the shattered soul I had created in June of last year. She passed slowly, trailing a train of black/gray tulle scraps haphazardly sewn together with a single red one scraping the floor, a visual representation of the pain I had caused. This was too soon. This show was too sharp. My breath began to come in shallow and the urge to head home and pick up a bottle of something strong on the way there began to crush me. Two models in -the second as painfully dressed as the first- and I was loosing it. There was a shuffle behind me and a hand slipped into mine. Two large rings were on the hand and without looking I knew it was Coco. She clenched my hand when she felt the trembling and whispered, "It's good that you are here to see and understand this. Healing isn't always easy or silent. You took to booze, she took to fashion. Hang in there. This could be healthy for you." and remained holding my hand. Eddy nodded to her and looked back to the runway. 

The second section, Rage, was full of sharp edges, leathers, and red accents over black and gray. It was intense and filled with brass instruments and operatic voices. The gowns were now form fitting with trains of edgy, holey materials. It was a direct contrast to the ripped and portioned styles in the first part. Compared to the first, or maybe it was having Coco there with me, it was more mild. I tried to admire the forms and patterns more than thinking about inspiration behind the dresses. The third act was a subtle shift from the second. There was a bit more white and styles started to get loser and less angled. I got lost in it just as I had with the other. I was so intent on it, in fact, I missed the change in music. There was tinkling tones that sounded like glass pieces raining down on metal and a single model walking the runway. Her dress was solid black and seemed to flutter a bit as she slowly walked. Her train was made of a silvery white material and appeared unending. Halfway down the catwalk two black butterflies detached from her shoulders (the train rose to fill the spot they had vacated, becoming a cape) and flitted about her head before settling on the pearly fascinator she wore. All of the black on her dress seemed to curl off her in a whirlwind of wings, exposing the diamond-coated silver dress beneath. These butterflies took to the skies and disappeared into the darkness of the ceiling only to return with a glittered swing carried between them. It was breath-taking to see and I had almost forgotten this was a fashion show, not a circus or Moulin Rouge show. Without seeming to stop the swing scooped up the model and carried her twenty feet above the floor below. Her still attached and billowing cape rose a bit with her to reveal the stage, no longer made of black reflective mirrors but pearl tile with a soft shimmer to it. After a short film of two estranged lovers the next line of models walked under the raised cape and down the catwalk to showcase the final act: Recovery. This section was full of soft melancholic music with happy or contented undertones. All the dresses were full skirted ballgowns with accents of black. Sometimes the black dripped off the dresses partway through or it changed from black to a silvery gray as they passed. It's representation was so brilliant and clear cut. Hermione was going to be okay. She had made it through. 

She truly was brilliant. I looked over as Eddy, who had rejoined me part way through the last act, stood to applaud and noticed Alexander Moore, the man who had been on the front of the magazines, a few seats from me. He was seated and staring at his Muggle phone as it played a music video through his wireless headphones. He hadn't seen the gut-wrenching expression of his girlfriends past. He hadn't seen the anger and hurt and rage in the second act. In fact, I'm sure he had missed the butterflies and the rediscovery of peace and meaning in her life. What kind of disrespectful pig went to a fashion show and looked at their phone the whole time? Why did he sit in the front, in valuable seating, if he wasn't interested in the show? Did he not realize how easy it was to see the front row from backstage? Hermione had probably seen him multiple times, sitting there with his eyes in his lap; oblivious to the darkness and glitter around him, and been hurt. 

Eddy pulled me towards him after a few minutes of "rubbing shoulders" with those around us and the two of us went backstage. Coco was still socializing as I went out of earshot. I was a bundle of raw nerves. After seeing Alexander in such a negative light and now being dragged backstage with Ed had done me in. We turned a corner and there she was. Hermione had her back against the wall and Alexander leaned in front of her. 

"What was your favorite part?" Alexander's phone buzzed and he pulled it out and replied to a text while talking to Hermione. "I liked when your shoes came down the runway without you. It certainly caught my attention." Wrong answer. "That wasn't part of the show. I meant the fashion. Which was your favorite?" He shifted uncomfortably. "The girl with the butterflies was amazing. I don't know how she was able to get up there so subtly!" It was then she looked away to hide disappointment and made eye contact with me. "Granger, that was a spectacular show, every part of it. Well done." Her slight smile cut like worn rope. Splintery and rough. Eddy thankfully pulled my attention away to a designer from Germany who had a cover coming up and may be interested in my work. 

I'm sure Ed had more people to introduce me to but I gave him the slip and went to my car. Coco was leaning against it holding a sparkling cider and two flute glasses. We toasted to "making it out of there alive" and sipped together for a while. I wanted to go and she wanted to make sure I wasn't going to go drink away tonight's memories. After a promise not to drink anything harder than what I had in my glass and accepting two more bottles of cider -pear and peach- I was permitted to leave. Some peace and quiet was what I needed tonight though doubted I would be getting it when I got home to find my mother. 

"Draco, I was shocked to hear you had gone to tonight's show." She read my stubborn expression correctly. 

"Fine. At least you didn't bring some tart home." 

"I'm not dating anymore mum. Not like that. I have a girlfriend, Daphne. A long term, stable, happy girlfriend." 

"Good. Yes, that Greengrass girl? Maintain the relationship and keep it between the two of you. Well, you will need something else to fill your time and keep you out of trouble too. I left a gift by the couch, do open it quickly. Goodnight, my love!" 

She stepped into the fireplace after kissing my cheek and reminded me once more of the gift. Usually she waited to see people open presents so my curiosity was, naturally, peaked. Even more so when I took a step into the sitting room and saw the box, it's lid wrapped separately from the rest, was taller than my couch. There was an envelope with my name on it. 

Draco, I know we both agree that the flings have to stop. Your past should stay as it is, past. I know you, my love, and I know you need to be kept busy or will find yourself things to "do". I hope this gift helps keep you focused, responsible, and with little spare time. Love, Mum. 

It was better to listen to her and putting this off wouldn't help. I lifted the lid and looked inside completely unprepared for what it held. A puppy. A Great Dane puppy with the biggest paws I had ever seen. On the crate was a note saying it would expand to fit a growing dog. I had wanted a Dane since I discovered them my second year of Hogwarts. My father had always been against dogs and despite how I begged, pleaded, or promised to look after it alone he refused to get me one, let alone a huge one. My plan was to get a puppy once I graduated Hogwarts but with everything that had gone on I had forgotten. Hermione and I both wanted a Great Dane and spoke about it often in our tower that last year. 

I picked up my little guy -he was obviously male- and set him on the wood floor to get acquainted with the place. He immediately ran into the kitchen with me chasing after him, he knew our home already. His giant food bowl and water had been set next to the kitchen island. On the counter above it were his pedigree papers listing his bloodlines and show qualifications. (Bloodlines had become a joke in our family since the war ended. We were so glad to not have to pretend to care about such a trivial thing anymore.) His lines seemed to be cleaner than mine though. After the food was gone and that tummy had rounded my pup went back and climbed onto the couch for a nap. It was ten. I was tired. It was the perfect day for an early bedtime. With my new puppy under arm (I had to carry him while I could) we went into my room and he explored for a bit while I brushed my teeth and changed. I crawled into bed. He, I really would have to get a name soon, curled up with me and nibbled at my ear. At three am I woke up to a crying puppy and had to go outside in my boxers to let him pee. As we both got back into bed I realized my mother was right, I would be very busy with this pup for a long while. There would be no time for flings when I had to train, bathe, feed, and care for my little man. He was easily the best gift I had received, more precious than gemstones, gold and free couture clothing. 

I had hoped to sleep in but at 8 am Daphne's voice echoed uncertainly through the flat. She had owled me last night asking me to Floo her before bed but between the puppy and my mother I had forgotten. I was watched by big, sleepy eyes as I got up and threw a robe over my naked self before leaving the room. I shut the door behind me, forcing my pup to stay and sleep in. "Daph, why are you up so early? It's a Sunday." 

"Yes. 8: 05 am on Sunday the 20th of January 2001. I'm pregnant. I went to the Healers last night and confirmed it. I'm due October 2nd." 

Pregnant. We had technically been dating almost a year, though only exclusively since October. Three and a half months and we were going to have a baby. If someone I trusted asked if I loved Daphne and could see us together in 10 years I would answer no. Marriages were generally arranged for family political power and worse matches than Daphne and I had been formed. I would marry her and raise my children with her without any complaint. She was lovely and clever and we got on well enough. Her anxious eyes caught mine and I realized nothing had been said out loud. Anything that was said now would be misunderstood so instead I walked to the fridge, pulled out the sparkling cider, and poured it into two flutes before passing her one. We clinked our glasses and sipped. 

"I want to announce it at my press release in two days. We should decide on names before then. One girl and one boy so we are prepared." 

We got started and when I heard a whining sound I remembered my pup. Daphne and he were introduced then we continued brainstorming. We both looked through the baby name books she had brought with her and spoke out the ones we liked or the ridiculous ones in jest. That was how I picked a puppy name: Mordekaiser (meaning Emperor of Murderers in German). An hour after Mordekaiser interrupted us we had our names. For a girl Athena Rose Malfoy and for a boy Apollo Lucius Malfoy. 

Hermione POV

Take Them by Storm (Song: Rule the World by Walk off the Earth www. youtube watch?v=ukigjUvwAR4 Also on Spotify) 

Backstage was as crazy as always. Models stood and adjusted to their next pair of heels while my assistants ran amuck trying to get dress A to model C and get back in time to change model K's make up to match dress E before the music started for that set. I oversaw it all and jumped in when needed. Three of the dresses had finicky clasps and zippers and though I knew they gave me trouble I didn't have time to fix them before this show. As such, I found myself a foot from the curtain opening a few minutes before the second set of the show fighting with dress snaps. 

Unlike other designers and their different styles with one theme I decided to do mine in life phases. My first set, Ruin, was on stage now and had lured everyone in and prepared them for the second one. Rage was preparing to take the scene and those dressed in Ruin Baroque would be remade and redone for Revival in the third set with all the models showing up together for the fourth walk of Recovery after a brief video artistically showing sudden separation of two lovers and their decline. (It was my attempt to explain the current line without implicating anyone but myself. In fact, the male used in the clip had dark curls and a square set jaw. I didn't know anyone that fit that description purposely.) The look went from flowing black fabrics in Ruin to spikes and sharp angles in black during Rage before settling down into tight fit tops and looser black skirts with bits of white for Revival. Recovery was my favorite because it looked hesitant and confused with fun shapes and angles in a healthy mix of white and black. As Rage models got into line behind me a shock of platinum caught my attention. 

I hadn't realized Draco was out of rehab and I hadn't thought he would throw himself back into modeling so quickly. Yet there he sat, front row center, wearing some new suit, holding a Coke with cherries floating about it, drinking in my new line. Why was he so hard to escape? I had designed this line to put him to rest: to finally get the emotions and feelings he had left out. Actually it had worked! I didn't feel the same biting cold I had felt in January. Now it was dull, like the throbbing of a healing wound. Remembrance Baroque, this shows title, had done its job. It had worked for me and now the models had to make it do the same for the audience. I knew there would be a few in the audience who would grasp the meaning at once. Harry and Ron were up in the far left balcony. Ron was oblivious or completely uninterested in who Ryuu's father was. He would see this as the title intended. Remembrance. Harry would be certain to notice a certain blonde in the front row and be on edge. Once he got over the shock that I had "been with Malfoy", as he put it, he got angry because I wouldn't tell Draco about Ryuu. He had just started coming to terms with the whole idea. It took publication after publication of an obviously hammered or high Draco to convince him that maybe it was better to keep secrets until he straightened up. 

Ironically Draco sat four seats down from Alexander, movie star, charity contributor, and my boyfriend of five months. (Okay, so it had been more like friends or acquaintances before this month.) While Draco leaned forward, looked eagerly at the stage, and comfortably talked to those nearby Alex reclined and kept to himself, looking only at his Muggle phone screen. He didn't understand fashion and I knew he only came to support me. I wished neither of them were here. With everything going less smoothly than I had wished it would have been nice to not worry about anything else. 

"Miss Granger, a zipper just burst. Dress seven in the "Ruin" line up, sweetheart cut black sequins with silver gleam, we had to make adjustments after rehearsals and it had trouble zipping up." 

I heard the Ruin melody transitioning and knew the first model in this section would be walking 60 seconds from now. This was why no distractions other than fashion and material would have been preferred. "I need dress seven, a scrap of material as long as the zipper was, and the models to walk a few paces slower and flourish more at the end of runway. Go go go!" 

As model one began walking the model in dress seven stood in front of me. As model two prepared to walk I had removed the zipper. Once model three was on her way back I had copied the fabric and pattern of dress seven onto the scrap of material. Model five took a step onto the runway as I finished the last bit of focused sticking charm and began lining up my fabric. By the time she got back two assistants and myself were pulling the right side of the corset topped dress towards the opposite side and matching the pattern. (It would stick her in the dress and it would have to be peeled off before she entered the third line but at the moment it was our only option.) Model six walked as the trim was reattached and a slight notice-me-not charm was framed to the back seam. It was the flourish showing off the shoes on model six when I realized my current model wasn't wearing her heels. SHIT! 

"Where are your shoes?" She gave me a panicked look. "What's your shoe size?" At her response I pulled off my own edgy, lace coated heels. They were a half size too small and very different from the strappy gladiator heels she should be wearing but slipped onto her stocking-clad feet without too much trouble. Two assistants pulled her to her feet and just as model six stepped off my heels began their debut strut down the runway. Mission accomplished! I doubted anyone would notice but as I watched Alex heard the distinct click these ones made earlier and looked at the shoes confused. (He hated when I wore heels and told me these ones were too loud earlier in the evening.) Draco tilted his head to the side as if to ponder why those shoes were with that outfit but nodded after a moment nonetheless . Eddy came up behind me and chuckled once he realized I was standing in my nylons and wearing a ruined zipper and a smile like a gold medal. 

After the show finished I had thanked, congratulated, and sent my models/aids home. There was a cold tumbler of gin and tonic waiting in my prep room. Alex was waiting by door with a dozen of purple Alstromeria (the flower symbolizing prosperity and fortune) surrounded by baby's breath. Flower meanings were a way of upper class people to send subtle messages. I had an informal lesson from Eddy when I was hired and he bought me a tome on all the different flowers and their meanings after he glanced at my bookshelf and guessed, correctly, that I loved books. Alex had a drink with me and told me he'd see me tomorrow when we got together for dinner. (Eventually he would find out about Ryuu but until then I prepared dinner for my little man, sat at the table and talked about his day, then went over to Alex' house for dinners or as a rendezvous point before a restaurant. No one who wasn't serious would know about Ryuu. Until I knew if I wanted to marry a man he wouldn't get my best-kept secret.) With a look at my pensive face and a quick kiss he left. 

I took off my heels and reclined on the settee with a soft sigh. Every show fried my nerves and brought all the emotions I kept hidden deep to just below the surface. One slip up would set me off. It was then the glitter of magic caught my eye and reigned in my thoughts. On the table opposite my gin a huge bouquet of flowers faded into existence. Violet hyacinth's, the flower for asking forgiveness, mixed with white roses, a symbol of chastity, truth, and silence. Along with those a note fell from the bell of a hyacinth and grew to a respectable size. It read: "Pet" and I immediately felt like vomiting. Pet was the name Draco called me when we were alone. He wanted to reconcile now? NOW? He had been put in rehab for drinking, drugs, and sleeping around to the point of scarring the Malfoy name and first thing he does outside those walls is attempt to apologize (not even face to face!) and ruin my life again. No. No. He wouldn't do this to me. Not now. Not again. 

I felt the rage tip over my mental cup and suddenly everything, like my design line so far, was black and white. Draco with blue eyes matching the border of the mirror on my side table was the black. Alexander who's eyes were just a shade darker than Harry's and the exact color of the cup holding my gin, the white. Everything in my life so far had fallen into two easy categories: Before and after. Whether that was before Draco or before Ryuu was yet to be seen. 

With a sparkle of red the vase on the side table shattered against the white two-toned walls and dropped its single rose. As the pieces fell a clear blue-framed mirror joined it. In my mind's eye they looked like fireworks tearing through the heavens. Before the blue hit the oak flooring a green trickle of glass followed it as well as some watery gin that had been left in the cup. I looked for more glass to throw but found it had all been shattered. Sadly, my gin high-ball had joined it last. I could use another drink. 

"I'm falling apart! Please, please! Why now? Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed. It's pointless. Throwing glass is pointless. Wasteful. It's wasteful like my adorations. I can't. I just can't. There are too many. How many secrets can I keep? I'm tearing apart…" 

Brokes stood in the doorframe and watched silently as I ripped my hair from the up-do it had been twisted and framed into and pulled it down. For once (maybe in his life) he said nothing. It wasn't until I sat on the couch and stared at the mosaic I had inadvertently created that he dared to cross the threshold and join me. He had seen it all. 

"You've heard that breaking a mirror is bad luck? Honestly, I've never believed in superstitions." It was the most vague I had ever heard Eddy be. He gave me a calculating look before continuing. "I watch more than I talk, if it's is possible to believe, and I know there is history between you and Mr. Malfoy. More than just "we went to school together and weren't friends" as you claim. I don't want details or to pry, though I have my harebrained lover's-lost theories, but you should learn to be comfortable around each other. Also, Alexander isn't what he seems. I know you are careful about who you trust but let this be a reminder to look deep first before you jump into things." 

Wisdom, some of it I already believe in myself, imparted he asked if I had any plans for the glass on the floor. When I shook my head he summoned them and transfigured a bag to carry the pieces. With a small bow Eddy made his escape and handed out loud farewells as he headed home for the evening. I was glad he snapped back into his typical "Eddy Brokes" persona before leaving. Early on, his expressions and behaviors confused me but as time wore on his disguise became more translucent. Models like Draco seemed to see passed it all together. Ugh, enough work thoughts. I had tomorrow to recover before walking into Brokes and Co for work on Monday. I planned to do just that. Forget. I had more gin and better company at home. 

George sat on the couch reading a Quidditch Weekly with Ryuu asleep on the couch next to him when I came through the Floo. He asked how it went and after a quarter hour Ryuu woke up groggily and raised his arms to be held as we talked. Shortly after George headed home and I tucked Ryuu into bed with me. We slept in Sunday and ate pastries at the little shop a few blocks from our home. Sunday's were my favorite because they were exclusively Ryuu's. We went to the park and played on the swings, fed the ducks, then went around the lake in a paddle-boat before dinner. Too soon it was Monday morning and I was pouring my coffee as Ginny came through the Floo to watch Ry. I was used to the routine but never got over how thankful I was that she was willing to spend so much time here. Today she brought Teddy with her. (She was watching him for a week while Andromeda vacationed.) 

Monday passed uneventfully and was filled with congratulations, bitter looks from the other designers, and bouquets of flowers from various people. I had lunch with Alex before he left on a production trip for the next two weeks. Tuesday started like Monday until I got to work. There always seemed to be a press conference or meeting in the atrium but this one caught my eye. Draco and Daphne stood at the top of the stairs and camera's flashed and reporters scrambled to ask their questions. Daphne placed her left hand on Draco's forearm, showcasing a huge diamond in white gold. It wasn't an heirloom, oddly, I recognized it from a fashion magazine. As I went up the other staircase they were asked about names. Luckily I was near the top and made it the final two steps before it sunk in. Names. I heard Draco say "Athena or Apollo" before crumbling. Eddy had been standing at the top of the stairs, lurking just beyond the view of reporters. He noticed me shrink to his left and immediately came to console me. 

"Mione dear, you should talk to him. He's not heartless. If you were friends before it might be salvageable. If you were more than that it looks like there is no hope for publicly accepted second chances. It is frowned upon to break up engagements after all. Let me help you to your office. I've heard enough of this announcement." 

I wasn't hurt by Draco "off the market" or the fact that he was going to have a baby. It felt like vines had crawled from my hip up over my shoulders and were trying to pull me into myself. When purebloods brought a baby home from the hospital they gathered around their family tree murals and admired the new name. I knew Ryuu was already on the Malfoy family tree. Now, after everything I had gone through to protect and hide him, he would be discovered. Our days of just the two of us would be over soon. Draco would start looking as soon as he knew and it was only a matter of time. (Luckily he had been...rather busy that year and would have plenty of people to check with before coming to me.) "Hermione Granger! I've been trying to get your attention for an entire minute now. Perhaps you should go home and rest today. In fact, I insist. Grab some things to work on. You are on salary and can certainly afford such luxuries after a spectacular showcase. Go on! Head home." 

Eddy was right. Today would be a disaster if I stayed. I needed to be with Ryuu, Teddy, and Ginny today. After gathering some materials, image inspirations, and a non-detectable expansion charmed bag with everything I could possibly need I headed back down the stairs. Unfortunately I was caught by reporters before I made it to the Floo. "Miss Granger, what is your reaction to the Malfoy engagement and birth announcement?" Daphne was still enthralled with the main group of reporters but Draco had looked away to watch and listen to my response. "He has my congratulations and best wishes, of course. It is always exciting to have a new world in your life and I hope he and his fiancée are very happy in the upcoming years. Excuse me, I'm running a bit behind this morning." My expressions had grown more controlled since last June and no one seemed to notice the panic in my eyes, everyone but Eddy -who was lurking at the stairs again- and Draco with his slightly narrowed eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Draco POV 

Apollo Lost (Song: Small Bump by Ed Sheeran www youtube com/ watch?v=A_af256mnTE Also on Spotify) 

Daphne had woken up feeling off today. She had complained about feeling depressed and mood swings reigned for the first few hours. After three hours of trying, and failing, to appease her she said something felt wrong with Apollo. I rushed to get her purse and grabbed snacks in case we were out long. Daphne never moved. When I asked if she was ready she laughed and said Healers were annoying and the next appointment wasn't for a week. No amount of convincing talk or bribes were working in my favor. Daphne was refusing to check on Apollo. Saying something felt wrong then sitting there staring into space did nothing to ease my roaring concern. Another hour later I stood. 

"Daphne I'm going to St. Mangos to make sure there is nothing to be concerned about. Take it easy and I'll be back soon." She began screaming and throwing pillows and blaming me for forcing her into everything. I made her do whatever I wanted, apparently. Then she stood and grabbed her coat while crying. 

"I might as well come with you so I don't waste your time by making you come back to retrieve me for the Healers to poke at." 

Pregnancy hormones seemed to be behind everything these days. Hungry? Hormones. Rage? Hormones. Slapping me? Hormones. The end of September could not come fast enough. If Daph was in a mood then I could offer to watch Apollo and the two of us would leave her to storm. She'd already warned me she wasn't the motherly type. That was fine. I'd love to take Apollo everywhere with me! 

Inside the hospital, one of the rooms had been set up for a movie scene. It was full of actors, producers, and camera crew. I was shocked to see Hermione there working on costume repair. A man dressed as a Healer came from behind her and nuzzled her neck while she worked. Alexander Moore had been in Wizard entertainment since it became a phenomenon around the time I graduated. He had a one up in the field as well because before the magical community caught on he had been in Muggle films. My first year at Hogwarts was his 7th and I remember him leaving for big chunks of time for shoots. One of the professors went with him for "private tutoring" as the Muggles called it. He was huge in both worlds now. Last I heard, about 3 months ago he and Hermione had a very public fight and hadn't been seen together since. Though, judging by this scene they had mended the rift. 

"I hate being pregnant! I'm fat and can't even model. Even Granger could model better right now. I miss the lights Draco! I miss the casual glances. Before you and this baby even Alex Moore looked at me. Now he looks at Granger. It's poor taste for such a successful Pureblood like him. Stop ogling the set. You dragged me here for an appointment not to watch a shoot." She was right. I got distracted. On the way to our Healers area in the "Wee Witches Wing" Daphne slowed and sweat poured off her. Soon I was carrying her and walking as fast as possible. Along the way, we acquired a bed and Jr. Healers. As we entered Healer Sweets ran to us as his wand whipped out spell after spell. 

Now we sat behind closed and charmed silent curtains in the "Wee Witches Ward". Healer Sweets joined us a bit too late. He had found Apollo in a stressed state with an incredibly high heart rate. He couldn't do anything to slow it or save him and after ten minutes of trying Apollo's heart stopped. He was vanished from Daphne's womb. If we had been here even an hour ago there would have been an 80% chance things would have been prevented. As it was, Daphne sat on the white sheet stroking her now empty stomach. 

Neither of us seemed to have words for the situation. My head spun faster than my gut could handle and I vomit in the trash can outside our curtained "room". Daphne's hands never left her flat belly. She hadn't wanted a baby when all this started but grew to love Apollo as he formed inside her. As we sat digesting our loss I could feel her sorrow along with mine. Daph had wanted him too, in the end. 

"It's your fault," She spoke first. Judging by that comment perhaps I should have tried harder to find words of my own. "Your family..." She went on for about 30 minutes and seemed to never inhale. I was numb. I couldn't process words. I knew they would all hit me later once my brain had done all it could to understand this. Snippets of phrases hit harder than others. 

"Not so pureblooded...more integrated...Halfblood or hell Mudblood...your fault...waste of time...Apollo's gone." 

It grew quiet again when I couldn't find an answer. What I wanted to say would have hurt her more so it was withheld from her. It had been six hours since she first said something felt wrong. Three since she said Apollo was in trouble. If she had agreed to go when I had packed bags Apollo would still be here. To put that on her shoulders right now would crush her. It wasn't my fault. I had tried. I tried. At the mention of going home Daphne huffed and stood. Together, but only as far as physically being next to each other, we faced the outside world. 

Someone must have seen Daphne clutching her stomach as we ran in. They may have seen us towards the end as I carried her. Either way, we would not be able to mourn in peace. 

"Mr. Malfoy! Ms Greengrass! Was there any serious cause for your rush? Do we have a report on Apollo?" 

"Ms. Greengrass, are you okay? Is it something with Apollo?" 

"Ms. Greengrass! Ms Greengrass!" 

"Mr. Malfoy, how will this affect your career?" 

"Draco!" I knew that voice. Pansy rarely spoke to get her stories. She let others do all the shouting and asking for her then used her intuition and Slytherin finesse to write articles. Others might not understand but she had asked two questions none the less: Was Apollo alright? Was I? A subtle shake, a tremor really, was all it took for her to put on a professional face. (I knew her shoulders would droop and her eyes would water once she was home or in her office. Not in the public eyes. She knew what this meant to me. She was going to be a Godmother.) by the time we reached the lobby she had vanished out of the mess of bodies following us with questions. Pansy was the only who seemed to get it. Luckily, her article would be kind. We had been friends since near birth if our parents were to be believed. She was a part of my first memory so I assumed we had been close before then. We could only hope the editors who touched the article after Pansy would be as understanding. 

At my townhome (the one we had shared since getting engaged) Daphne sat on the creme fainting couch while her fingers absently stroked Mordekaiser and stared at the fireplace. She was leaving me. Her eyes always spoke more honestly than her mouth. All past conflicts flipped by behind those puffy eyes and the moment she decided I knew. 

Daphne stood and summoned a large suitcase before facing me. We both knew words were arbitrary. She went first to the bedroom, then Apollo's room, the bathroom, the study, her sunroom, the kitchen, then back into the lounge for the last of her things. Following her around the house to monitor what she took seemed petty so I hadn't moved since she left. Everything had been shrunk and placed in the bag and what I lost I could easily replace, unlike Apollo. She kissed Morde's head and scratched his ears. 

Floo powder met the flames and Daphne spent less than five minutes making arrangements. Once she'd finished that her shoulders squared. Our eyes met. Her right hand moved to the left and I focused on the 10 carat opal and diamond ring as it slid off her finger. It's platinum band looked more dull away from her pale skin. 

Perhaps I imaged it as it looked bright against the mahogany mantle where she set it. 

Daphne stepped into the marble fireplace and vanished with a green burst of flame. She had whispered her destination and left me alone with my thoughts. Not even a word of goodbye on her cruel lips. 

I hadn't moved for hours when the fireplace burst from gold to green and Pansy's face filled the space between. 

"I had to make sure you weren't breaking the rules. Promise I'm not being nosy; my reporter side left hours ago. You look like an acquaintance would be welcomed. Besides, if I don't come you'd break our second rule." She winked and stepped through with two snifters and a decanter of dark brown alcohol. Pansy and I had made up a code of conduct concerning the stuff to curb our crazy drinking habits. Rule one was nothing heavier than a glass of wine or beer before five. Rule two required us to never drink alone, with the exception of aforementioned wine or beer. It was more of a joke or excuse to hang out now but I was glad for her company. 

"She's gone, yeah." 

"Yeah." 

"Daphne was a bitch anyway." 

"Yeah." 

"Mind if I stay the night? My heater is broken." 

"Sure." 

Once again, an inside joke. We used to say the fire was broken when one of our friends needed company. Heat sources were rather finicky after all. Tonight would be slightly better now that I wouldn't be alone to cyclone through my thoughts. Pansy wouldn't allow it. After charming both of the lounges into beds, Pansy summoned snacks from the kitchen and locked the Floo. In a way, laying here felt like Hogwarts again. Pretending I was safe and secure in the snake den once more I fell asleep...after a few drinks and some "Daph-bashing" as Pansy called it. 

Hermione POV 

A Rough Day at Work (Song: Secret by The Pierces www youtube com/ watch?v=HzNFwxsSPwU Also on Spotify) 

From my office I could hear the rumble of voices coming down the hall. Knowing the way it worked and Brokes and Co. it didn't bother me. Whenever a model did a particularly great spread reporters would follow them around for a day or two. Usually the Daily Prophet posts told me all I needed to know about in the Fashion/Art section. What it didn't tell me office gossip did. It was that moment when an owl came through the charmed window and everything became clear. A black hole formed inside me and clenched everything too tightly around it. 

"MALFOY MISCARRIAGE AT 20 WEEKS: HEIR LOST!" 

His heir was lost. Lost to him. Ryuu was almost a year and a half old now. That baby wasn't the heir. It was a selfish realization but when it hit I was happy all the same. That small tragedy gave me more time alone with Ryuu. After realizing Ryuu was already on the Malfoy family tree in one form or another I had researched the details on such things. In Pureblooded society it was tradition to go from the hospital to the sitting room with the family tapestry. There was a small party and everyone admire the bright gold line that dropped and attached the firstborn child to its parents names. Draco would not have found a gold line next to Apollo's name. It would have been silver. There would already be an firstborn on the fabric with a gold line. A mystery child and mystery woman. Even now I knew it was there and had been undiscovered. 

"Mr Malfoy, a word please!" 

("Bugger off!") 

"Draco, tell us what your are feeling?" 

"Malfoy, what do you think caused this miscarriage?" 

"Mr Malfoy, where is Daphne Greengrass?" 

("Daphne's gone. She left.") 

"Mr Malfoy!" 

It was one of the first times since our breakup that I felt sympathy for him. No one deserved to be hounded after such an awful night. Despite knowing it was a risky idea (for me anyway) I stood and left my office. 

"Mr Malfoy, at the hospital last night when you first were told about the lack of heartbeat, what was your..." 

"SHUT UP! CAN'T YOU LET A MAN MOURN?" 

Both Eddy and I had arrived at his outburst. Eddy ran to comfort Draco while I told the reporters they were disrupting the designers. They were told to keep their reporting away from this area. All this was said loud enough for both Draco and Eddy to hear. Both would get my meaning. This would be a quiet place to escape if nowhere else was safe. A nod from Draco confirmed and thanked me. 

From then on my day was quiet. I had three new concepts by lunch, one of them was quickly evolving into the theme for my next collection. Mirrors with tints from gray to highly reflective black ran along one of the dresses. Something about the way it demanded attention but reflected everything away and changed constantly as the fabric shifted captivated me. If someone had asked me to design my soul's fabric it would have been something like this. All I wanted to do was develop it but I had promised a little boy a mommy/son picnic for lunch and it was time I left. 

No one was in the first two hallways as I made my way to the Floo. In the model area, a few reporters lingered. Down near the main lobby, the rest of the news mongrels watched a photo shoot in progress: no need to guess who was in there. Draco was trying his best to ignore the one-way window but it reflected in the rigid movements that it hadn't quite escaped his notice. 

Wiping my thoughts of Draco Malfoy was harder than expected. Especially when I stepped out of my marble fireplace to find Ryuu already in his Weasley jumper and ready to go. McGonagall allowed me to bring Ryuu to Hogwarts every few weeks for a lunch and walk around the lake. After the normal process of using the Floo into her office, Disallusioning Ryuu, and walking to the hill by the lake we sat, all illusion spells removed, and took out the picnic basket. These lunches were always my favorite. Lunch was normally a 20 minute thing, if I took one at all, but these one lasted a full hour. Ryuu threw rocks into the lake and the squid brought them back like some oddly tentacled puppy. We rode broomsticks around slowly, napped a bit, looked at clouds, and Ryuu asked for a Hogwarts story. They were the simple and lovely moments of my hectic lifestyle. 

"Miss Granger! What a surprise to see you here!" 

Shit! Marcella cooed as she came around the corner and her eyes seemed to gleam hungrily as she noticed Ryuu clinging to my leg. 

"I was just looking around for a potential shoot location and thought after looking around the castle I'd check the lake. I was about to leave but I'm so very glad I came back to examine this area. Imagine my surprise when I saw you and this little man. He does look remarkably like Draco Malfoy, doesn't he?" 

Without hesitation I stunned her and sent my patronus to fetch Minerva and Pomfrey. Ryuu was confused and fought tears at her harsh sounding words and expressions. Within five minutes both ladies had arrived and Poppy had taken Ry to play with the squid a distance away. I wasn't sure what to do or how to phrase what happened but Minerva seemed to understand perfectly. "We will do an Unbreakable Vow and make sure this stays within our circle. Come now, wake her up and let's get this finished." 

I woke Marcella and she found herself pinned under both my own and the Headmistresses wands. I tried to speak but all that escaped was a choked huff. Minerva spoke like steel. 

"Marcella Macmillion, you were allowed here in good faith on the understanding that you would briefly look around the castle for a proper location. You were not given leave to explore the grounds and did so after being escorted to the gates. Due to the seriousness of your meddling, I'm afraid we will need a Vow from you before permitting you to leave." 

"An Unbreakable for something as petty as a child out of wedlock? That is rubbish!" 

"So you weren't planning to expose Miss Granger or Mr. Malfoy?" 

"It would get out eventually and who am I to withhold information if someone were to ask?" 

It didn't take much more than that to confirm her intent. Designers at Brokes and Co. were like starved beasts and would fight dirty and kill to get ahead. The rumor mill in that building, no, just that hallway, was probably more vicious than the one at Hogwarts. Minerva was in position to cast the spell before I had raised my hand or Marcella had stood. Once we clutched out hands together and the spell was spoken I started the vow: 

"Will you, Marcella, keep the secret of my son, Ryuu, from those who are not currently present?" 

" I will." 

A tingling ran up my arm as a band of fiery smoke wound around my forearm. 

"And will you, knowing failure to do so means death, refrain from hinting toward this vow or it's contents? 

"I will." 

Another band, this one silvery, joined the first ever-moving band around us. 

"And should it come to light, will you remain silent about your knowledge of his existence?" 

"I will." 

An emerald green band joined the first two before they seemed to sink into our flesh, burning a bit as they left their marks. It was done. Marcella was bound and Ry was safe again. It wasn't more than a minute before I was alone with the school matrons and Ryuu again. Minerva asked me to stay a bit longer today and relax before going back to work as she and Poppy returned to the school. It was exactly what I needed. A bit more time before facing the world. After a Hogwarts story we took a twenty minute nap and packed up our assorted wrappers and snack baggies. As we stood and gathered our things Ryuu slipped in the mud and fell face first into it. His scowl reminded me so much of Draco my insides cracked. If I was a less selfish person I would tell Draco about Ryuu. Merlin knew he needed a bit of good news. But that would mean the end of our little existence together. Draco would want to be a part of it, and rightfully so. At the moment I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready. Attempting to convince myself all the way home failed as well. My mind had decided to tell him but as I said goodbye and headed back to finish the work day two silver eyes locked my heart again. 

In my absence, all the reports had moved into the models hallway and waited to jump on people. I was their next catch, unfortunately. 

"Ms. Granger, what do you think about the current Malfoy tragedy?" 

Oh, the things I could say. "What do you think I'm going to say, or anyone will say about this? Losing a child isn't easy. Ever. Losing a baby that far in is unimaginable. I hope everything settles down and they are left alone quickly. Now, I've got work to return to." They were obviously disappointed but much more gossip would set me off and I preferred to keep my cool at work. 

Back in my office the mirrors held my attention again. For two hours I changed the angle on a mannequin and adjusted lines. It wasn't until just after five a the first skirt was sent to Eddy for feedback that the day grew eventful again. Every one of those reporters needed to find a new haunt by tomorrow. They were trying to whisper their questions over one another as Draco walked this way. All the empty offices were before mine, as it was the corner, so it shocked me to see the crowd outside my door. There was a few seconds of quiet as they waited for an answer that must have looked like it was coming. Instead the door opened and Draco slid in, only slivering the door it's barest amount to get past. Reporters filled the windows to get the inside scoop on our conversation. With a flick of my wand we were alone for the first time since he left me. 

He was shaking but those eyes (Oh so familiar eyes!) were steady on me. After a few tries he got words out. Painfully. 

"I know you remember." His feet shuffled a bit. "June wasn't a good month for either of us. I was so concerned about holding you back or damaging your chances by being near you. It's funny is because instead of some cushioned a ministry job or amazing internship you are right here with me. Salazar, I was stupid!" 

With that remark he crumbled. Not even during his Azkaban trials had he looked as dreadful as he did now. Two seconds later I had him clinging to my shoulders and bowing his head. "Daphne left me right after we got home from the Healers. She said if the Malfoy lines had been diversified, muddied were her words, even a cousin more we'd still have Apollo on the way. Last I saw she had been chatting up an old lover, Seamus Finnegan. When she left I assumed it was to visit him. Daphne put her ring on the mantle as she left. Just when everything was settling down..." 

He continued to cling and cried Ito my hair. "I've hurt you the most! Why did I ever think tampering with your mind was a good idea? I'm sorry. I am so very sorry." There! There was my moment, but what did I say? Could it be thrown out there like a normal announcement? "By the way, we have a child together. He is an amazing boy and means the world to me." No way! Now I was panicking. It needed to be said before Draco walked away again. He was calming down already as my anxiety picked up. 

"Draco, I've..." 

"No, I don't need your pity. I'll just show myself out." 

Before a word was said he pulled away and Apparated. Judging by the noise outside he went to the empty office next door and left as soon as his features had cleared a bit. The chant of "Mr. Malfoy! Mr. Malfoy!" Followed him away and replayed in my mind. Come morning we would both convince ourselves that conversation and confession session hadn't happened. We had never spoken unless required by the job. It would continue this way tomorrow. 

At six everything stopped in my mind and it would have been pointless to keep pushing. On my way to the Floo Eddy sent me a nod. It was his way of showing pride without keeping us at work longer. He had both approved of my mirror collection and thanked me for "scattering the hounds" in a note earlier. 

Ryuu greeted me at the door and as he ran my emotions escaped me. I sobbed. I felt terrible for not telling Draco all about our little miracle. "Hold you Mommy!" With Ry in my arms everything was a bit brighter. "Sorry love. Work was really stressful today." He repeated his attempt at the words stressful today and tucked his head under my chin. "You make it better though. Let's go make dinner buddy. You can help me stir tonight."


	7. Chapter 7

Draco POV 

A Photoshoot in your Honor (Song: Sexyback by Justin Timberlake www. youtube watch?v=3gOHvDP_vCs Also in Spotify) 

It had been 5 months since I lost Apollo and Daphne. I had almost relapsed in the month that followed and moved in with Coco for the following months. Being in the house alone was too much to emotionally handle. Everywhere I looked Daphne came out to haunt me. Sometimes I thought I heard someone in the kitchen, cooking or hunting for desserts. I would hear a door close and wait for her to walk in. Honestly, my biggest problem was walking past the room we had set up for Apollo. My parents had given us my old bassinet and pram already and we had inherited a family heirloom rocking chair which sat in the corner next to the biggest window in the house. There were silver accents mixed with the green and white decor. Stuffed animals were piled in one corner and unopened gifts from well-wishers were nearby. I often found myself sitting in the rocking chair, staring aimlessly out onto the roads below and wondering what might have happened if we had gotten to the hospital that morning. I had been sitting in the chair when Coco came through my floo to check up on me. There was an unopened bottle of scotch on the mini bookshelf in front of me and a crystal glass. I had been fighting the urge all day. Needless to say, I wasn't left alone again. We packed up essentials and all of Morde's things before going back to her home. I had only recently, last week on October 2nd (Apollo's due date), moved back into the town home. Coco had hired someone to clear out everything and pack it up. All the boxes were labeled with the rooms they were found in and placed in the living room. It had been cleaned from top to bottom and looked like I was just moving in. She walked in with me and after a subtle wand wave the whole place smelled like Cedar and Sandalwood in comparison to the rose and honeysuckle scent Daphne had preferred. Coco levitated some large frames from the pile of boxes and hung them on the walls. One was of my mother taken years ago while she was out in her garden. Occasionally she would lean down and caress a flower before It was a new place and a fresh start, yet again. I had a lot of fresh starts recently.

Most of the boxes were donated to charity to see without being opened. (I asked for the heirlooms and family furniture to be taken back to Malfoy Manor.) Some decor and statues were kept and placed in different rooms. All the dishes and pots and pans and kitchen utensils were replaced. They had never been mine. All the furniture was replaced as well. I had a new sleek mahogany banister installed along with wood to replace the carpet on the stairs. With a few small adjustments, this place felt like it was mine alone and was just what I needed. It was nearly mid-October when everything was settled at home. Finally, I could be there alone and not panic or dredge up old memories. It was time to make new ones. 

When I went into work Eddy approached before I made it to the stairs and the smile on his face worried me. He followed me to my office and asked about my morning as we went. He always checked on well beings before springing news on people. If you were having a rough day or appeared tired he would cushion blows or wait a few hours. Inside my office, he handed me an envelope and bounced on his toes as I opened it. 

Mr. Draco Malfoy,

You are cordially requested for a magazine shoot recognizing the Achievement of Excellence Award you will be receiving at a press conference prior to the event.

Please be available the 27th of October between four and nine in the evening at Fashion Forward Couture Hall. We look forward to meeting your acquaintance.

~Fashion Forward Magazine 

Last October I had been in the running for an "Up and Up" award for being a rising star in the industry. If rehab hadn't been necessary around the same time I probably would have won it too. There was obviously more to be said since Eddy was still leaning on my doorframe. "You know, this is the first time in ten years Brokes and Co has been able to boast both Achievement of Excellence in modeling and design!" He flipped the other envelope dramatically around to display the cursive name on it. Mione Granger. "I've stayed out of your school fued but I expect you both to play nice. This is a shoot you are both going to be in. Enjoy it, who knows, you may have better chemistry than you thought." 

His withdrawing heels echoed back at me before it registered fully in my mind. Hermione and I would have a photoshoot (probably a sultry one) by the end of the month. We hadn't spoken, not unless forced by work, since I wiped her memory. That meltdown I had after loosing Apollo didn't count as conversation in my mind. I was still trying to forget it had happened! I knew our two styles matched and that the shoot director would incorperate both into their event. My bad boy look mixed well with the sexy darkness Bombarda Boroque often boasted. I had no doubt our chemistry "matched" as Eddy put it. We had spent too many endless nights talking, laughing, pillow fighting in the Head Tower at Hogwarts to doubt that. We could do this and do it well, no matter how much we had avoided each other. We had gotten better over the past few months. Sometimes I would start a conversation with her in the halls just to see how she would answer. After the second time I did this she started doing it back. I would ask her about upcoming shows and if she was involved. She would ask who I was wearing or modeling for recently. We avoided personal information. Alexander was a bit of a sore spot recently judging by the rumors and parties she went to alone. They were visibly together for about five months before a fight in May that brought him into the office the next day to attempt to mend things. He had only recently come around again in the past few weeks. Since I didn't ask about hers she didn't ask about mine either. There wasn't much to report anyway. I had a few dates now and then but wasn't really interested in relationships at the moment. It was nice just to focus on myself for a while. 

Eddy would probably be delivering Hermione's envelope and explaining all this by now. I could only hope she was as good an actor as I believed her to be. In our 8th year she couldn't seem to hide anything from me. Since...graduating she seemed to be all smoke and no substance in her words towards me. I had asked her to coffee, to tea, to any random events and I either received no answers or a cool dismissal. This situation would require cunning and bravery to pull off well. Merlin only knew if we could do this. I decided to try to make peace with her before the shoot came. It was lunchtime when I crossed paths with her. "Hermione, a moment, please? I'm sure Eddy told you about the award ceremony in a few weeks. Would you like to go to lunch together and discuss a plan of attack for the shoot or prepared ahead of time for questions?" 

She met my gaze with a blank stare and seemed to calculate unknown causes before the tips of her lips rose a fraction of an inch. It was not a smile nor a smirk but something in between. "I've got lunch dates with Alexander, Eddy, and other clients for the next two weeks. It's getting close to the winter line up and I don't really have the time to go out. Sorry." She seemed a bit remorseful. Maybe. It was hard to tell with her these days. I offered to walk with her to the floo point so we could talk a bit. After a huff, and probably thinking about my past stubbornness, she agreed. Our conversation was much like past ones: talking about what we were working on and new fashion inspirations. I offered to take her to dinner to further discuss the approaching shoot and award ceremony. I knew it was going to go over poorly when Hermione shoved her fingers into the hair around her messy bun and exhaled before facing me. Eddy started walking towards us from behind her and witnessed the whole thing. 

"Draco, I appreciate your attempt to make this go over smoothly but it is unwanted. I can forgive you for your past mistakes but I can't forget them. Not now and not ever. It's too painful and still too fresh. Please, just leave. Just leave. You've done enough. Accept things as they are and move on from here. Everything has worked out for the better and you are in a great place. Don't risk it. Don't push your luck. I want you to succeed. Really, I do." 

With that, she turned down a different hallway to take side stairs down to the main lobby. She also left me to deal with Eddy who wouldn't leave without details at this point. I needed to talk to someone and as much as he loved gossip he also held his model's stories and pasts in tightly. He was very confidential with things spoken to him. I spilled. Nearly everything. He knew about our developing relationship and about some nights in the tower. I lied at the end though and told him I had brutally dumped her so I could be free. It seemed too sensitive to tell him about her memories and my weak self-esteem. I think he knew there was something more nonetheless, we were too bitter with each other for that to be all of it. Eddy left the lie alone though after I pulled on my hair and kicked at the empty chair in his office. His only response was, "I knew there was some dark secret between you two. Too much angst to have just disliked each other at school." 

Instead of prepping with Hermione I did it my own way. After practicing for questions, I'd look in the mirror to make sure all my signature faces looked crisp. 

As with most events we'd rather not participate in, the press/shoot sped towards me and arrived faster than I was ready for. Hermione had shot me a few glances those first few run-ins after getting the invitation. There was no discussion about it or understanding reach before hand. Saturday the 27th found us in Broke's and Co. fitting rooms at 2:30 and sharing the make-up mirrors at 3pm. Luckily we would be meeting our escorts and arriving separately. Hermione would no doubt bring Alexander as her date. I planned on surprising them all with mine. 

Hermione was picked up by a driver in a covered sports car about two minutes before my own car pulled up. A harrassed looking driver got out, glared, and opened the door for me. My date was already inside, buckled into the seat opposite me, and wrapped in a full shawl to keep outfits clean. "Hello Morde! How are you, friend?" My companion looked about as happy as our driver. When we rode together it was usually with the top down convertible and wind in our hair. Luckily the drive wasn't more than twenty minutes. 

Cameras and their crew stood near the sidewalk. Those further up the line still flashed and hummed as Hermione and Alexander made it into the building. I exited the car and walked around to Morde's door. Most of the reporters hesitated as if expecting another grand entrance (like the one Alexander had probably put on) though the ones who began taking pictures right away would get better shots. Mordekizer exited the car with a grace even I couldn't manage. Morde looked more noble than any dog had a right to. (My mother had chosen him for that reason.) He was blacker than the devil, better trained than most Healers, and nicer than Helga Hufflepuff. His lead was made of braided leather and was no longer than a foot. Morde's head was so close to my elbow there really wasn't a need for a longer one. After removing his shawl and seat belt harness we walked the route towards our press meeting. Word of my escort had traveled ahead of us and by the time we reached the raised platform with our chairs there were only 4 and an open space next to mine. My chair was furthest to the left. Next to it sat Eddy with Hermione on his opposite. Alex sat on that end. 

Once I sat and Morde occupied my open side the questions began. When asked about Morde and his story I realized this may be a great time to relax everyone before the shoot. 

"Shortly after my rehab stint last year, I realized chasing girls and partying got me in more trouble than it was worth. My solution was to settle down, sell my party house, and settle into my townhome. My mother came to the same conclusion and her solution was a puppy. Morde is the most high maintenance relationship I've ever had, right boy?" He had been trained to let out one loud bark then look up and down with those two words. It had been taught to make my mom laugh. It worked here too. Hermione herself chuckled! Thankfully there weren't many more questions. 

The shoot was awkward and Hermione openly shot down my attempt to apologize and start over. We were interrupted but she looked relieved and avoided any further discussions. There was an extremely humiliating moment when my zip caught in my pants and Eddy caught us in a compromising position trying to get them off. Alexander was trying to appear normal at dinner after the shoot but his acting -it was amazing he got paid for it- was poor and he was obviously seething. Eddy offered to drive Morde and I back to Brokes and Co after the shoot and there was no avoiding him. He wanted to talk about everything and if we got it over with now I wouldn't have to hear it when I came back to work on Monday. 

When I got back to Brokes and Co that night Ed and I were still arguing over the pants. Hermione had been sitting alone in the atrium with her head in her hands and walked over as Eddy kept waving those stupid pants like a black flag. She was able to unzip them now and quickly looked away. Her eyes were watery and I knew it had something to do with Alexander Moore and his black attitude during dinner. Eddy handed her teasers from the shoot as she left. Once the floo went out he turned to me. 

"I can't help but think you two were better for each other than Alex is. I could see you two getting back together in the years to come. Breakups heal easily and from what you've said your relationship sounded nice." 

Damn Eddy. He was too nosy and I was too tired to listen to his mindless, sneaky prodding as he hunted for gossip. "No Eddy. This one will be more difficult. I lied to you earlier. Our break up was a bit brutal and I can't blame her for this treatment. I didn't just break up with her. I took all of our shared memories and anything indicating we had more than an academic relationship. All the nights getting to know each other, starting to see each other as more than classmates and friends, our romantic evenings, everything but homework in the Head Tower, everything. I thought the spell would fade in a few years. Either her mind found something that didn't fit and worked back from there or I did the spell wrong, which I doubt. I practiced first and am naturally talented with charms. She seemed to remember everything before she started here and that was hardly 3 months after." 

"Everything makes sense. I can't blame her. I'd hate you too. You violated her mind and if she had pressed charges you would have been in with the Aurors instead of with the models. She must have cared for you a lot. Remnant feelings or honoring past ones are the only reason you are free to walk around like you are. Merlin! She is trying to heal and has to see your face at every turn. That must be near impossible. Perhaps you should give her space. I'll stop my meddling too. Things will calm down. I'd love to see both of you heal enough to collaborate. You do look delicious in sharp angles and black. Seeing you in Bombarda Baroque tonight has inspired me. Her creations look spectacular on you! I want more images like these!" 

Eddy the sassy and quick witted designer had returned as he waved the teasers over his head. Our serious conversation was over. "Other designers do sharp angles and black. Also, she looked better than spectacular. Goodnight, Eddy." 

"Goodnight Malfoy." 

The next work day I decided to lay of Hermione but still make my presence known. If she were coming in a room behind me I would wait and hold the door open for everyone between my arrival and hers. When we passed in the halls I would send a respectful nod her direction. On the off chance we both were assigned to the same shoot room or ended up in the same location I would nod and ignore her unless spoken to first. She didn't respond with more than confused looks until a few days before I left for the winter holidays. "Malfoy, would you let Eddy know I will be a few minutes late to our one on one meeting this morning? I have a personal matter to handle first." I did my nod. She nodded in return. Finally, a reaction. It was a bit like a small Christmas gift come early. Later that day I was walking past a jewelry shop in Diagon Alley and saw an elegant necklace with a thin cursive G on the chain. It had small but bright white diamonds and sapphires on the loopy edges and fit Hermione's personality perfectly. It reminded me of a clunky version I had given her at Hogwarts. It was the holiday season and I could send her this and ask for forgiveness. It was a whim but I bought it. She wouldn't be getting me anything so it's not like I had to worry about her gift being better. 

Hermione POV 

P.S. It's with Malfoy (Song: Elastic Heart by Sia www. youtube watch?v=7xPls4pAIzI Also on Spotify) 

Anyone who knew me would have realized I was nervous. Alex rubbed my knuckles as he held my hand, though he would think the stress was from press. This was nerves of a unique variety- Malfoy nerves. Only he could give them to me. All through our make-up sessions I had wanted to say something to ease tension but couldn't find anything that didn't sound forced or stupid. Instead I resisted the urge to bite my dark red lip. He was biting his. Alex gushed about work on the way to the Fashion Forward building which was a nice distraction while it lasted. For once, reporters were a plasant distraction as well. Inside I began to feel so nervous everything made me giggle. This was a new one for me. I hated it. A true laugh escaped me when a man sprinted passed and announced that Draco Malfoy had brought a dog instead of a girl. At first the lady being told said it could sit on the chair next to him, on his lap, or be tended to by her assistant. After hearing it was a great dane a chair was removed on the outside of the table and a chef was told prepare appropriately. (We were informed there would be a light appatizer before the shoot and dinner after.) I had wanted a great dane for nearly as long as I could remember. I had forgotten that both Draco and I had wanted one after school. We had planned on moving somewhere together and owning one. 

I was jealous. Morde distracted me through the harder parts of the panel. While we, Draco with Morde and myself, waited to go into the room where the shoot would take place I started a conversation. "He's a lovely dog." Draco agreed then asked if I'd bought one yet. This was the first mention of our past- not counting that odd scene in my office. We had talked about plans after school and I said there was an internship or ministry job that probably had my name on it. The joke had been about me working long days then going home to a book and a great dane. When my response took too long Draco released Morde and told him to go say hi. Moments later his huge head was in my lap and those eyes seemed to make everything better (as Ryuu's, the reason I hadn't bought a dane of my own yet, often did) as he looked up at me. 

"There's no need to be nervous. Life has grown me up and softened the edges. Hermione, I'm done being an ass. Nothing has made me as sorry as loosing you. If you'd like..." 

A photographer and director came in at that moment and thank goodness too! Draco was being entirely too pleasant. He was going to ask if I wanted to catch up and try the acquaintance thing again. Last time we started over we ended up dating and bringing Ryuu into existence. I wouldn't mind having another kid in the future but I hoped the next one was with a husband and YEARS down the road. Hiding one pregnancy/child from Eddy and by extension everyone else was hard enough! 

Speaking of Eddy, "Draco! How did you manage to hide this magnificent beast from me for so long? You've destroyed the "final touch" on so many shoots by hoarding this secret!" 

"Eddy, you don't get to know every secret. Despite your best attempts. I'm sure you'd love to." Eddy smiled at me. "I've got Miss Granger figured out, at least." When one of my eyebrows rose against my will he exclaimed again. "Why, you must tell me, my dear. I'm dying to know!" There were some secrets he wouldn't know until the smirking blonde behind him did. 

"I've always wanted one of these dogs. Bet you didn't know that!" He chuckled and let it drop though I knew he'd be curious for a while. Oddly, it was Draco who should be the inquisitive one. Hopefully, I had gotten my disinterest across enough and he wouldn't ask again. Turning down letters and offers for coffee was easy via owl. Things could get complicated quickly if he got past my defenses face to face. I was more stone faced than my Hogwarts years. Nothing I didn't want to be known was. There lay the problem. My mind and heart warred about Ryuu's secret existence. What if one beat out the other for just a moment and he realized I was hiding something huge from him. He was still a Malfoy, in that regard. He'd be irked until he found out. After he did only Merlin knew what his reaction would be. 

Our set was themed red, black, and white. Both Draco and I were in black. His slacks hugged his hips and made all his muscles and butt look even better. A deep V-neck -in dark gray- clung tightly to his arms, shoulders, and abdomen. My black dress was a plunging V-neck, though it dropped much lower than his, with heavy gray pearls and onyx beading. Attached to the corset-like top was an asymmetrical skirt dripping with black feathers. It's high point touched my lower thigh and the lower edge brushed mid-calf. A sheer mesh material continued down to my studded red leather heels and trailed six inches behind. 

A red stoned ring was slid onto the fourth finger of Draco's left hand (I noticed he switched it to his index finger immediately) and a similarly stoned chocker necklace was given to me. Eddy wanted Morde in the shots so after being brought some left over red material I charmed a thick collar and added studs, spikes, and a dangling red stone where a name tag would usually hang. 

It was a typical cover shoot. A white studded chaise was use used as our main prop and we took a few standing shots. There were a few with chairs too until the couch returned. 

"Alright! One last set up then we will shift to dinner. Mione, if you could sit here facing the edge for just a moment while we set up. For this one we are going to have you take off your shirt Draco. Please sit near the armed side of the chaise and put one leg under you. Perfect! The other leg should be wider and a bit to the side. Mione, you can lean back onto Draco's shoulder and arm then kick your feet off the edge a bit." 

My hesitance was obvious. Eddy came to the rescue. "It's always a bit awkward modeling with someone the first time dear. Topless only makes it more so. Luckily you've seen him shirtless before." His pause made me wonder if he had correctly guessed one thing I'd hidden from him. "Draco has pictures from past shoots all over Brokes and Co. after all!" I made a joke about Alex' reaction to this set up then turned and leaned on Draco as I had so many years before. He smelled the same. That spicy, warm, late-nights-in-Head-Tower-with-legs-entwined-in-the-blankets-and-hands-on-each-other scent. Oddly, it still felt comforting. "Breathe. It's okay. We've been like this before. Forget about the cameras and lights and company. Pretend we are back in our tower." His lips brushed my ear as he whispered for only me to hear. 

Ten minutes and multiple positions and sexy shots later we were led into the half height changing stalls to put on dinner clothes. I was almost into the short dress I'd brought when Draco started muttering spells under his breath. By the time my old outfit's jewelry was off and the new necklace and ring was on the grunting next door had me chuckling. At the click of my door unlocking there was a huff and hesitant question. "Hermione, umm, could you help me? If you thought posing earlier was terrible this is going to be horrid. At least there are no cameras..." His zip was stuck on a bit of fabric. A few minutes later found both of us out in the open. No spells would loosen the designer pants and we were reduced to Muggle tactics. "Hermione, I apologize in advance for any indecent exposure that may happen in the next few minutes." Before my mind thought about it words escaped me. "Nothing I have seen before." He froze. I froze. There was a silent moment before he laughed and made a remark about "how time flies". 

Draco held his pants taut while I knelt down and fought the zipper out of the fabric. His new pants sat waiting on a nearby stool. It was pointless. Nothing had freed the fabric snagged in those metal teeth. Draco was still giving it his all when a solution hit me. (Dinner was waiting. As was everyone else.) I magicked the pants off of him and into a pile on the floor. His black underwear was more snug than was proper. The small hole in them where the zip had caught didn't help. The shock was clear on Draco Malfoy's face as he took the new skinny jeans from my outstretched hand. His eyes grew bigger and I turned to find Eddy with a brow raised as he filled the doorway. 

"I'll just inform the others you are finished. You have two minutes to...finish this up!" 

Draco stood in his tight briefs until the door closed. "I'm sure that looked wrong -or right- to him. I'll clear it up and ask him about new pants on the ride back to Brokes." He quickly pulled on his jeans and tugged on a flowy shirt. Without a pause a comb flew from his coat pocket. Draco fixed his own hair then offered to help me with mine. Now put back together we left the room. Eddy gave us both inquisitive but radiantly happy glances. Those were crushed as my counterpart huffed and began to piss on the designers who made tight pants with cheap zippers. He refused to wear them anymore. Apparently, this wasn't the first time the words "wardrobe malfunction" left his lips. Eddy thought we'd reconciled our differences. He'd had a whole three minutes to grow that dream before Draco crushed it. 

Both the salmon and the salad were delicious but my favorite part of the evening was being dropped off at Brokes and Co. with Alex (who had been watching the shoot with some others from Fashion Forward in another room and had not approved. NOT APPROVED.) He was simmering with anger and was even more furious after I'd pointed out a few risque scenes of his own. I hadn't batted an eye at them. He was an actor. Sometimes he had sex on screen with other actors. Sometimes he kissed them. It was part of his job. He didn't see how modeling was like acting in that respect. Alex was being so petty about this. I kissed him goodbye like any other night before going inside to enjoy a few minutes alone. I had to fight off the tears before going home. 

Eddy and Draco were back five minutes later and were arguing the merit of the pants Eddy held. For the second time that night I fought the zip. This time, I won! It was easier when they weren't on a body, particularly Draco's body. (Was it wrong to still want him, if only in the most carnal sense? It wasn't like we had a fight or unsuccessful relationship 8th year. We were very compatible and both my brain and body knew it. I couldn't follow through though. I'd get hurt again. I'd get too close or too committed. It was too soon. I had too many excuses. My solution was to never be alone with Draco. There would be time later to mend what we once had. If I wanted to. Eventually.) As I left Eddy handed me teasers from the shoot then returned to arguing about the pants' need to stay in Draco's wardrobe line up. 

Ryuu was asleep on the couch near the fire when I stepped out. Ginny put down the book she held and began firing off questions. Instead of answering them I gave her the photos. We both knew it would be a draining shoot but looking at the sneak peaks almost made me glad to have done it. Getting a recognition dinner and award was worth it. 

"Hermione, I never realized what great chemistry you have with him!" 

"Yeah...No...No Ginny. No. It was hard enough to do the shoot I don't want to analyze it so soon after. We can talk about it later. How was Ryuu?" 

He woke at the sound of his name on my lips and came to sit on my lap. I told him the shoot was with his daddy before I'd left. Ryuu thought Draco worked too hard. Saying he traveled for work was only going to be convincing for so long. Ginny gave the photos to Ry and he asked all about the night, thus forcing me to give in to Ginny's questions as well. Within a day those pictures would join the others on Ry's 'daddy wall'. He asked if Draco missed him. I knew Draco missed Ryuu more than he missed anything. He would be crushed once he knew he had a son. 

After waking up the next day I realized Draco was a lingering in the corner of my mind. After all this time he still held sway in my mind, in my decisions, my life. It would be inhumane to not help where I could. With that in mind, a conclusion was reached. Ryuu's life would be documented in the Muggle fashion, cameras were already a part of my life and they would be a part of his too eventually. (You can't keep a child hidden forever.) It was time he got used to them eventually. 

With camera recording, I walked through the house and found him playing in the grass with his international Quidditch toys. He had over 20 countries teams and watching all 140 miniatures strut, fly, and fight each other often entertained my little blonde for hours. He had trained them all to fly exclusively with their teams and to come to a whistle when he needed to clean them up quickly. "Ryuu," He blew the whistle and all 100+ raced to the carrying case," I've got a new game for us to play. What do you think about making something for Daddy? Don't you want him to see what games you play and tell him all about your day?" 

He squealed before grabbing his Quidditch Pro's set and coming far too close to the camera. After quickly asking if we'd send this to daddy and if his hair looked alright (Truly Draco's child!) he began asking where his daddy had been on business for so long. That was my cover for Draco. He was away on business, always business, and would be back eventually. 

"Hey daddy, watch what I do! See my roll? I can do so many before I get dizzy. Look this! It's my broom you sent for me! Mommy says you will teach me cool tricks and take me up high on your broom. She gets nervous if I go high but said you could protect me. Are you coming here? I miss you. Mommy shows me pictures because I forget how you look. She has so many pictures! It's a good thing you look pretty because mommy and I are pretty and we don't want to hurt your feelings by looking better than you. Sometimes I get to see the pictures of you in far places, like the jungle, and with coconuts! That's pretty cool but I want you to come home too. I'd let you play with my Quidditch players, any of them, even my favorites." 

Our conversations with "Daddy" continued all night because every time I tried to put the camera down Ryuu would scream and cry that Draco was going to miss something. That night he fell asleep with the little blinking light of the camera facing him on his bed. Later, before I went to bed, the camera replayed the moments I had missed. Ryuu had shown the camera all his favorite toys, including thirty-five of the miniature players, his dragon stuffed animal, his broomstick, his pillow, and a charm on a chain. (The charm was a large green and silver gemmed M and had been a gift from Draco about a month before he ran. When I was given it the M was meant to represent Ms Malfoy, his promise that one day we would wed. Now in the hands of my little gent they meant Malfoy, like his daddy. Ryuu thought it was a gift from Draco to him and I hadn't told him otherwise.) Ryuu's final move of the night was to kiss daddy goodnight through the camera, tell Draco he loved him, and tuck himself back into bed. Through the lens his little eyes watched blinking red of the camera until the slowly drooped, despite his attempt to fight sleep, and closed with a sigh. Within two minutes he was asleep. I was in tears and knew if Draco cared enough to watch these he would be in love after day one of filming. 

The next morning I woke up to an owl holding a specially enveloped missive. My parents didn't know where I lived and had sent this to Hogwarts via Muggle post hoping it got to me. (Years ago I had told them that confused Muggle parents sent mail that way sometimes and special undercover post workers removed it before giving it to post owls.) I received an invitation to my fathers birthday celebration as well as a short note asking me to attend. Our relationship had begun to crumble when I found them in Australia and restored their memories a month before returning for my 8th year. They had been less than thrilled with my decision to force them into hiding. They were even more concerned with the events that happened while there. I hadn't told them about most of my adventures at Hogwarts. It would have been hard to explain and harder for them to process. My life had been dangerous since joining the wizarding world. I had hoped to grow close again but with the unexpected arrival of Ryuu the strain of our relationship was too heavy and we had a falling out. Thinking about snippets of the conversation still made my blood pressure rise. 

"We raised you with morals and values. Allowing you to go to Hogwarts has ruined everything for you...If you had stayed here in secondary school and gone on to Uni this wouldn't have happened... You spent so much time away from us it's like you're from a different family, a different culture...Hermione, we lost you. You chose the wizards over us...I hope that baby's dad shows up again. As long as you have it we will not be supporting you. There is always government support if things get tight. You are clever enough to figure out side jobs too if you need to...We disapprove of your choices...I'm sorry sweetie but this is too much to handle...We still love you but can't be around right now." 

By 10 the morning on December 8th Ryuu and I were dressed in sweaters and boots appropriate for the season. I made sure I wore one of my own red and black peplum dresses and Ryuu wore his name brands (Fendi pants with his Dior cardigan topped with his Burbank jacket.) I hadn't intentionally dressed him to be vindictive. His cardigan was his favorite but it was too cold to wear alone in London which added the coat. Most of his pants weren't classy enough to match with the shirt so the designer pants were pulled out. By that point, I couldn't be out-dressed. My self-designed dress and clutch matched his nicely. He wanted his sapphire faced wizard watch so I added pearls to my neck and wrist. We looked like money by the time everything was in its place. At first, I worried, then I realized this might make them hold their tongues. It would certainly make them feel bad for claiming I couldn't take care of myself without my "baby daddy". (Though Draco probably made more and had more in the vaults than I did.) 

Before heading to London we stopped at a famous pastry shop nearby and picked up tarts and cakes for my dad. (Ryuu insisted he get his own 4 pack of raspberry key lime cookie tarts.) I always bought him sweets on his birthday. He loved them but only ate them sparingly due to the sugar inside. 

It was 11am when we knocked on my parent's door. My note had asked if we could come a few hours before the lunch at 1. To say it was awkward to stand there on their porch would be an understatement. My mother had reached for Ryuu immediately like any grandmother might but he screamed and clung to my legs. She was a stranger, after all. Few toddlers would allow that sort of contact. It hurt her feelings and she seemed to pull into herself before going to get tea. My father quickly ushered us into the living room and sat across from us. Sitting in the living room was nearly as bad. All growing up there were pictures on the mantle and walls. Now there was art as if the photos were tainted or no longer treasured. It was silent as I looked around, Ryuu stared at my father from my lap despite the open seat next to me, and the man in question waited for my mother. She sat next to him on the loveseat. 

After a few of those pauses, those usually followed by speech, he said "It's good to see you dear. What have you been up to?" 

"I've been busy with work and being a mom. How about you?" 

It was my mother that sighed and tapped my leg. "Hermione. We are trying to make amends. It will be hard to do so with you giving short answers." 

"It will be hard to make amends in two hours as well. You dropped me out of your lives for over two years and expect me to come back like nothing happened? Everything has changed. I am no one you know. No one you know is similar to me. We would have trouble relating these days. We run different social circles and lifestyles. You want to know what I do for work? I'm not climbing some corporate ladder for minister or president like you would guess. I'm a well-known fashion designer in the wizard world. I spend my days drinking lattes and dressing beautiful models and creating art out of fabric. I have a private corner office in a marble and glass building in a prestigious part of Magical London. After work I go home. My home in France is an old chateaus and more extravagant than any home I have ever thought to own. Ry is usually there flying on his broomstick, playing with toys that levitate, doing any sort of impossible thing in this world. We sit on our arch covered balcony and tell each other about our days before walking through the massive gardens I pay someone to keep tidy. You thought I was different because of the wizarding world? Now I am socially, economically, culturally, and magically different from you. How do you think we can ever mend things? I shouldn't have come." 

When I rose with Ryuu on my hip I made it to the door before..."Stop. Please. I miss you. I want my daughter back. I want my grandbaby" Both of my parents still sat on the couch but my father was leaning forward and his eyes held nothing but sorrow and remorse and pleading. "This was part of my birthday present, inviting you here. Your mother is still bitter but I don't want to miss your adult life like we missed your teenage years. I want to take your boy out on the town and spoil him like granddads should. Please, Hermione. Stay and have some tea. Eat lunch with us before the others get here. Maybe you could come over for Christmas and we can have a proper family holiday." 

I wanted my dad back as well. When we fought years ago it was my mother who fought with vindictive words and sharp words. My dad had agreed and blamed the wizarding world for my absence. He was right in that regard, though. I was away a lot. "I will stay for an hour. Why don't you come to my place for Christmas? Ryuu has too many gifts, and more coming, to move here and I've already got all the decorations up. Plus, there are some rooms I've still not hosted guests in. It will give me a chance to do so." 


End file.
